''Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.''
''Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend anyway. He can just deal with it.''
''In five years, I'd like to be five years sober.''
''I got my whole life to be a minority executive. Only have about a year left in these knees, though.''
''Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing: You can't bring weapons into the office.''
'People underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck.'
''The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.''
''Just tell him to call me as ASAP as possible.''
''I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff's office.''
''I had to put more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight.''
''As a gay man, I'm horrified. As a friend of Angela's, horrified. As a lover of elegant weddings, I'm a little excited.''
''I realized that, for whatever reason, I just couldn't do better than Kelly.''
''In high school, my nickname was Kool-Aid Man.''
''I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong, and if you don't like it, you can leave.''
''I don't talk trash; I talk smack. They're totally different.''
''I do play games. I sing and I dangle things in front of my cats. I play lots of games. Just not at work.''
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