Supervillain Seizes East Coast
Local Man Loses Pants, Life
Beaver Rescue Falls Short
Mayor Unveils Erection to Cheering Crowd
The Truth About Carl:
He's Great!
Local Man, Homer Simpson,
Receives Award and $2,000 Check
Burns' Birthday Today:
Credits Long Life to Satan
Local Man Thinks
Wrestling Is Real
Top Cop Surrenders to Backfiring Car
Big Fat Man Has
Big Fat Heart
Baby Saved by Local Hero,
Not Father
President Simpson
Wins Super Bowl
NAHASAPEEMAPETILAN-TASTIC!
Squirrel Resembling
Abraham Lincoln Found
Quimby Nephew Charged
in Beating:
Chowder Said Wrong
Local Man Ruins Hot Dog Eating Contest
Disqualified for Vomiting
Closed Pistachio Stymies Fatso
First Day Of Spring:
Ants, Picknickers
Reach Last-Minute Accord
Unusually Large,
Ugly Baby Born
Mutation Caught at
Ol' Fishin' Hole:
Is Power Plant Responsible?
Incontinent Old Man Wins Miss Teen America
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