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'Why spiders? Why couldn't it be 'follow the butterflies'?'
'You've got about as much charm as a dead slug.'
'It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.'
“I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.'
'I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot.'
“Four leaving makes me nervous. Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives.”
“Usually I'm remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in y.”
“The early summer sky was the color of cat vomit.”
“It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.”
“Are you congratulating me on my life, or on my death?”
'Be happy with your ninety-eight-two percent split. Next thing you know, you'll be grafted with DNA from, like, an elephant seal. Or a bear.'
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