Television Quiz / Hans or Jasper (The Simpsons)

Random Television or This or That Quiz

Can you tell whether each quote is attributed to (H)ans Moleman or (J)asper Beardly from The Simpsons?

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QuoteHans (H) or Jasper (J)?
My name is [name]. Drinking has ruined
my life. I'm 31 years old!
Well, you're certainly doing
your job today, Mr. Sun.
Talkin' out of turn, that's a paddlin'.
Lookin' out the window, that's a paddlin'.
Starin' at my sandals, that's a paddlin'.
Slow down, the sidewalk's for regular
walkin' not for fancy walkin'.
I was saying Boo-urns.
It's an old fashion hole diggin'.
By Gar, it's been a while.
You call that a knife? This is a knife!
Ooh, down I go!
But I need my kidney now.
Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?
Is that you Apu? Time has ravaged
your once youthful looks.
QuoteHans (H) or Jasper (J)?
Moon Pie, what a time to be alive.
You shot who in the what now?
I need the biggest seed bell you have.
No, that’s too big.
My eyes! I can see again! All the beauty of -- I'm blind. Oh well, easy come, easy go.
R, Q, J, Question Mark, Smiley Face.
My beard. I broke my beard.
(Are you here for the Coping
with Senility class?)
No! I'm here for Microwave Cookery.
No, wait. Coping with Senility.
There is no escape from the fortress
of the moles. Oh, except that.
Help me! Some bullies threw my shoes over a telephone wire... With me in them!
The eating of an orange is
a lot like a good marriage.

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