Television Quiz / Cheers quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes from Cheers?

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QuoteCharacter
Last night, I got knee walking drunk and now I am back this bar a mere seven and a half hours later, hung over... well, it's official. I have a problem.
Women. You can't live with 'em. Pass the beernuts.
Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy.
You didnt let me finish, what I was going to say was you look like a million bucks just stampeded across your face.
Cheers. Ok, wait a minute, I'll check. Is there an Ernie Pantusso here?
I lost my dream job, and when I walked out of that House of Pancakes, I felt two inches tall.
You think it's easy being a lousy father?
I don't wanna hear the latest scores / From a bunch broadcast school boys / So get your scores from a guy like me / Who knows what it's like to have a groin injury. [Rapping]
Regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I'd like to see you in Hell.
There is some crap up with which I will not put.
Next to Sammy's life, my life has always appeared dull. Then again, next to a barnacle's life, my life has always appeared dull.
Sam, everyone in this bar is on a connecting flight to beyond loony.
I think I'm going to be pregant for the rest of my life, just like it said in the yearbook.
You know... you know I always wanted to pop you one? Maybe this is my lucky day, huh?
QuoteCharacter
I'm working on a novel. Going on six years now. I think I might finish it tonight.
If ignorance is bliss, this is Eden.
Hey Sam, speaking of bars burning down, guess what I did?
It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
Whoa, wait a minute. I resent that. I've never had trouble with a woman in ANY position.
I see you all looking at my chestal area; stop it! I don't have breasts!
If you can't say anything nice, say it about Diane.
You are my best friend. Now what is your name?
Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, 'Is this all I got?'
Well, I have a question. You know how you're always talking about how you hate your life? How come you wanna make it longer?
Beer? Isn't that the amber-colored, carbonated liquid? I've heard good things about it.
Next thing I know I'm in a court of law where I've got to propose to you or go to jail. It's the classic American love story.
You love each other, and you hate each other, and you hate yourselves for loving each other. Well, my dear friends, I want no part of it.
Sam, I found an apartment... It's got everything I ever wanted... a living room and a bedroom.
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