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There are many not fit for quoting here but make for very good reading nonetheless. Many are now pretty famous but there are still some new gems being added each day.
Amazon.com Product Review Matchup
Surely no man wields such a mighty chest as to be able to harness these averagely transferred beasts?
I misunderstood the description of the product as an 18' foil and was killed in a swordfight. Shame on you.
The consumption of [the product] is the ONLY effective relief I have found from this utterly nightmarish sham of a marriage.
Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Worked fine with my right hand, but when I came to use my left hand my writing came out looking like the work of a complete imbecile.
Sleek, modern, imposing, it stood on the tiles like a modern Sisyphus; roll me up, roll me down.
Surprisingly, by the time I made it back to my desk from the water spigot, this mug had turned my water into wine!
Worryingly the dots above the i's manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses.
Found this stuck into a stone while on vacation. I'm impressed with it, generally. Unfortunately, it turns out that removing it made me the new king of Switzerland.
I was tired of getting hit on by beautiful women every time I went out in public, and then I bought this jacket. Problem solved.
Poor people can't buy it, which makes it automatically better. The sad-face expressions on people at the soup kitchen when I show it off are beyond priceless.
I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis.
Today is Valentine's Day and I hoped that a little splash of this would drive my lady wild. But alas... I sleep alone again.
The execution is somewhat sloppy. The bulk of each page seems random enough. However at the lower left and lower right of alternate pages, the number is found to increment directly
My mime class went ape-crazy over this stuff. Comments ranged from ‘_________!’ to ‘__________!!!
This item will not fit in the trunk of a Corvette.
I tried the [product] and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.
In several accidents that I have had whilst using this, the airbag causes the laptop screen to slam shut. I've suffered several broken fingers because of this.
I read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.
After the 5th track I thought I was in heaven, then I realised I was because I had stabbed myself in the heart with a pencil since the eject button has failed to work...
██ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is █████ ████ ████ fine ██
I tested both my children using this device and confirmed my hunch - the 1-year old was going to turn out as badly as I thought, breaking my heart and living in the basement.
The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.
I was going to fund my daughter's wedding in Hawaii, but I figured this TV would last much longer.
It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste.
I finally figured out what was wrong with this. It's apparently 'music' coming out of the darn thing- a woman singing what sounds like a nursery rhyme, only more repetitive
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