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It doesn't matter where you are from in the world, nobs and bollocks are the same.
I don't understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu...
You won't get anything done by planning.
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his centre parting is so perfect?
I reckon we'd get by okay if we had lobster hands.
Does the brain control you, or are you controlling the brain?
Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
Beliefs do not change facts. Facts, if one is rational, should change beliefs.
Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.
I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.
Why buy a book when you can join a library.
Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better.
Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
Stop talking s--- all your life.
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