Comedy Quotes

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QuoteMovie
Damn. Three times.
I just went from six to midnight.
Oh you know, just school **** and ****.
The building has to be at least...three times bigger than this!
Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
I'm talking like crazy boy band ass.
She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Oohoohoh ****. I got you good, you ****!
I promise. I will never die.
If you don't chew Big Red, then **** you.
You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer!
Well I hope so, had I been drinking out of the toilet, I might have been killed.
QuoteMovie
It's just a flesh wound.
That's interesting man, that's **** interesting.
Everybody knows you never go full retard.
I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
Gangstaaaaaaaaaaasss... what's up guys?
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every sing
You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
None of that pussy-ass Skoal, right Dad? Dad?
Hey, Rick! I never made a slam dunk before. Thanks for the boost.
Raindrop!
Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
My shoulder doesn't hurt very much, but my face does. Right here. Not here, or here so much, but right here.
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Last Updated: Feb 16, 2017

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426 3.00 Movies Sep 26, 2009

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