Old man goes on trial for abducting and endangering a cub scout.
Three Indiana kids never hear from their father again.
Grampa comes back the next day and reads the exact same story but the kid gets bored halfway through and wants to play video games.
Spring comes and someone finds a whole bunch of money (and an ice scraper) on the side of the road.
Worried about future lawsuits, the National Park Service posts warning signs “Do not drive into canyon.”
A bunch of boneless, muscle-less humans can’t grow enough food in a giant junkyard to last the first winter. Humanity perishes.
Chronic traumatic encephalopathy.
They never have decent pizza in Bedford-Stuy again.
After crossing the Austrian Alps they realize they are in Germany. Maria tells the Captain “I told you we should have stopped and asked for directions.”
Wouldn’t the aliens also have germs that we have no immunity to? Yeah, they would, so we’d all die too.
She begins to realize how much the weatherman knows about her, concludes he has been stalking her and files a restraining order.
Bacon
Having run away from a life spent on TV, he finds that everyone wants to do interviews with him. He ends up on TV a lot.
After some more awkward silence, Benjamin says, “This is my stop.” Elaine says, “Yeah, I need to go home and change.” He says “I’ll call you.” He doesn’t.
The farm is overrun by tourists. They have no food or toilets. The EPA shuts the whole thing down. Ray loses the farm.
Venereal disease.
Rudyard screams “Get that head off my desk!” He sends for the authorities who arrest Peachy.
Oliver grows up and realizes love means ALWAYS having to say you’re sorry.
Parents sue the merry-go-round maker for a really terrible design.
Then the kid asks his mom, “Where is dad anyway? And why is my tank driving away?” And the rest of his life sucks.
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