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He doesn't consider himself a Republican, but...
He's a SoulCycle instructor, but that's just for right now.
He greets people by kissing them on the cheek. He's not European.
He doesn't understand why no one asks about his SAT score anymore.
He doesn't understand why you don't want to hear the story about him losing his virginity at that pre-college summer program anymore.
Don't get him started on student loans.
He will explain to you why something is funny.
He was in Bye Bye Birdie in high school.
He has used an eyeliner pencil as a regular pencil.
His fingernails are creepily long.
He calls legs 'gams.'
He carries a tiny notebook and writes down things people said, but feels bad when he reads it.
He has his grandfather's baseball cards and his grandfather's Playboys.
He has a special name he called his grandmother.
He has photos of himself on every ride at Six Flags, and he knows where they are.
He has his own nickname for every member of the Rat Pack.
Don't get him started on his mom.
He has pierced his own ear at least once.
He and his dad have plans for that Camaro.
He took inspirational school assemblies very seriously.
He thinks Hannibal is funny.
He thinks Phineas and Ferb is funny.
He keeps asking if Jenna will be at the reunion.
He thought about piercing his own ear once.
He's not racist, but...
Don't get him started on anything.
He is racist.
He logged more than 50 hours of detention in high school.
He doesn't understand why people don't spank their kids anymore.
He and his dad have plans for that acid.
He can't help you if you won't tell him what's wrong.
He is Stephen Schwartz.
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