This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals.
These bridges are made from natural light that I pump in from the surface. If you rubbed your cheek on one, it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face.
Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud nois– HONK.
Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree.
Oh, hi. So, how are you holding up?
He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.
Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life.
Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for … quite a bit longer,
I'm still holding all the cards, and guess what: they're all full houses!
Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect.
Let me just flag something up: according to the control panel light up there, the entire building's gonna self-destruct in about six minutes.
Good news is we've got a much better test for you.
Oh, in case you get covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me.
Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping.
Burning people!
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons!
But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science.
I'm a bloody genius now!
Yes, you are!
This - sentence - is - false!
You two are going to love this big surprise. In fact, you might say that you're both going to love it.
Ah! Well, this is the part where he kills us
I'm sorry. Sincerely. I am sorry I was bossy, and monstrous, and...I am genuinely sorry
Hello? Can you see the portal gun?
If it makes you feel any better.
Oh, for God's - they told me that if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would die!
Nobody knows what they're screaming about. Absolutely terrifying.
Look at you, soaring through the air
If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples.
Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished.
That gave me an idea - make more prerecorded messages!
Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man.
I found some bird eggs up here; just dropped them into the door mechanism; shut it right down.
I went and spoke with the door mainframe.
Do you understand what I'm saying? At all? Does any of this make any sense?
I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now.
I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea.
Let there be light.
She's the backbone of this facility. Pretty as a postcard, too.
Hey, squeaky voice, give me some of your bullets!
This next test is very dangerous.
Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it.
First he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: Cryogenic refrigeration wing.
Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids.
And whose fault do you think it's going to be
Now I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this type of cognitive gauntlet.
Um. Yeah I can't do it if you're watching.
You know who ended up, do you know who ended up taking her down in the end?
Ahh. Sorry I just looked down I do not recommend it.
Oh! Look at that. It's turning. Ominous. But probably fine. Long as it doesn't start moving up.
Don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! This should slow it down!
Oh there's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem... um.
Thanks for the hate crime, Jer!
I heard gunfire!
Ah. I tell ya. Humans. Love 'em. Just...
Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door.
Don't worry I'm absolutely guaranteeing you 100 percent that it's this way.
There's our handiwork. Shouldn't laugh really.
Warmer. Warrrrmer. Boiling hot. Boiling--okay, colder. Ice cold. Arctic. Very very very cold.
Notice the moat area. Very deadly. Extremely dangerous.
This is one of my tests.
Alright, this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test.
And we had to do was pull that lever.
Was. Was self-destructing. Already fixed.
And to your right, something huge hurtling towards you.
Sorry about the lift. It's, uh... out of service.
Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated.
Oh! You came back! Didn't actually plan... for that. Can't actually reset the death trap.
Ah! Perhaps the turrets have found a way to use garrotes.
Ha! Was that your bullet-riddled body, flying out of the room?
Ah, but I just... I have actually made my actual first mistake... by telling you my plan.
Ah. That just cleans right off, does it?
Part Five.
Well I'm still in control.
Skeletons. Right I guess I did stockpile some tests.
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