I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
Only don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry. Now, who approached you first?
Can you believe it? We're in the middle of a drought, and the water commissioner drowns.
If it was anybody else, I'd say what's going to happen to you would be a lesson to you. Only you're going to need more than one lesson.
She made her first stage appearance at the age of four in Midsummer Night's Dream. She played a fairy and entered, quite unexpectedly, stark naked.
Well, it just so happens I teach a class at Columbia called 'TV, Media and Culture.' So I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan, well, have a great deal of validity!
In one week she received 17,000 fan letters. Men bribed her hairdresser to get a lock of her hair. There was a maharajah who came all the way from India to beg one of her silk stockings. Later he strangled himself with it!
I'm going to blow my brains out right on this program a week from today. So tune in next Tuesday.
Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!
Taken care of me? You're my kid brother and you take care of me? Did you ever think about that? Hah?
Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's GO someplace like Bolivia.
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. I mean that.
From here until we reach the other side, no water but what we carry with us. For the camels, no water at all.
When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.
Look, go to the fridge and get the thing with the O.D. adrenaline shot.
I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a tomato for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down.
I coulda taken Wilson apart! So what happens? He gets the title shot outdoors on the ballpark. And what do I get? A one-way ticket to Palooka-ville!
This night my mind was filled with Halloween. There was to be a pageant representing our county's agricultural products; I was to be a ham.
Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
That's funny, that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.
The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.
No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.
Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking.
For twenty-three years, I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!