'Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.
'Right now I wish I was named 'Bob' instead of '________'
'Is that a mirage, or just product placement? '
“I’m not messy. I’m organizationally challenged!”
'Tell me I wasn't this deluded... '
'Yeah, that icky, sticky stuff is only fit for heffalumps and woozles.'
'Here’s where she meets Prince Charming. But she won’t discover that it’s him ‘til chapter three.'
'... Even I’m eatable! But that is called “cannibalism,” my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies'
'He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!'
'Don’t think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization.'
'If you’re going to threaten me, do it properly.'
'Now, we’re gonna walk... quickly and quietly with no rap music or flashdancing.'
'I didn’t mean to kill her... It’s just that she was on fire.'
'But I don’t wanna kick the other kid’s butt.'
'If we ask for directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones!
'Better her than me!'
'Do you know what happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else. '
'Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.'
'And those guys tried to kill us! That was the best vacation ever!'
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