Shot in an 1804 duel with Aaron Burr. (so...definitely did not live or tell his own story).
Extreme bloodletting to relieve inflammation of the windpipe, 1799. (May or may not have called Alexander son one more time).
In a Port Richmond boardinghouse, from the after effects of an 1834 stroke. (Second wife also thought he was the worst).
Blind, deaf, and mad, possibly from porphyria or arsenic poisoning in 1820. (da da da dat da).
Probable old age (97), interred at Trinity Church, 1854. (Did her best to tell the story).
Unknown, died March 13, 1814. (Might still be obsessing about commas).
Unknown, died March 14, 1801. (Maybe she finally made it downtown).
Killed in battle, August 27, 1782, at the age of 27. (Like Burr said).
Killed in an 1801 duel with George Eacker. (Got to nineteen, but never to ten).
Pneumonia. Remains sprinkled with earth from Bunker Hill, 1834. (Finally said Bonsoir).
Unknown causes, probable septicemia, possible complication of prostate cancer, July 4, 1826. (No longer getting high with the French).
Unknown, 1832. (Wherever she is, she's staying).
After advertising himself as General Washington's clothier, retired successfully from the business at 80 and died 5 years later. (Did not get back up again this time).
Died on his tobacco plantation, (in worse shape than the national debt), 1836.
Unknown (fu............). Nobody needs to know.
Stricken with fever and died. (but still a general, whee!) 1782.
Consumption, possibly a cold caught while fighting a fire, (Possibly said some things that weren't true) 1804.
Died a bishop in 1796. (No word on whether he was still less articulate than Hamilton's dog).
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