Television Quiz / 50 South Park Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these South Park quotes?

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'I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.'
'Why does nobody believe that I'm serial?'
'My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.'
'I'm gonna make love to your a**hole, children.'
'This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas.'
'I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatevah, I do what I want!'
'There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.”
'What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken, boiled vegetables and salad?! This is just like Auschwitz!'
'Hello Muhammad, we've read all aboot you in the Qur'an.'
'Yes! I am God of the sea people!'
'But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?'
'Well, your moms are just upset. They’re probably all on their periods or something.'
'Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.'
'Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!'
'It's when you take your finger, and you stick it in a vagina and you stick it again and again.'
'I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking.'
'Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.'
'Yeah, a hippie and a terrorist is the same thing.'
'Everything is back to normal. I-I think... I think I can go back to trying to destroy the world again.'
'I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!'
'Shawna, I was wondering if I could put my penis in your vagina.'
'Mom-m-m, Ben Affleck is naked in my bed!'
'Stan told me to tell you he thinks you're a're a cont, cont, cont...'
'Don't get cancer on the ladder, Cartman! You're gonna fall off and break it.'
'Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.'
'Yeah. You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, f**k you.'
'Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said... this week.'
'James Taylor, what the hell are you doing singing about prostitutes to these children? Get outta here!'
'Have you seen the poop swatches?'
'Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Yummy!'
'I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.'
'You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.'
'Yeah, I could use some goddamn poontang, myself, right now.'
'I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.'
'You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.'
'All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.'
'Dude, it's not like terrorism! It is terrorism!'
'Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?'
'Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!'
'Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.'
'Then I was right. Jobe has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.'
'I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.'
'Having boobs sucks.'
'You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!'
'I'm so high man, I don't think I can take it.'
'I'm killing you. Unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat so this may take a while.'
'Ohh. I thought a group of Vietnamese people were getting their intestines pulled out through their mouths.'
'Hello, is this customer service? I'm having a problem with my new television: it's sprouted laser guns and started walking around shooting people.'
'How would YOU feel, if someone came into your home, m'kay, pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mom's face!'
'Butters, remind me to cut your balls off later.'

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