Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
QuoteCharacter
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Daddy.'
QuoteCharacter
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'

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