Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'

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