Quote | Character |
'There's no shame in being a pariah.' | |
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.' | |
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.' | |
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!' | |
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.' | |
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.' | |
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'. | |
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.' | |
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.' | |
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!' | |
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?' | |
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!' | |
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!' | |
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.' | |
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?' | |
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!' | |
'That's Kabbala, jerk.' | |
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?' | |
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.' | |
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.' | |
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.' | |
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.' | |
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!' | |
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.' | |
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!' | |
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!' | |
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.' | |
'You gotta nuke somethin' | |
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.' | |
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.' | |
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.' | |
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!' | |
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.' | |
'You sunk my scrabbleship!' | |
| Quote | Character |
'You call this a bicameral legislature?' | |
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.' | |
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.' | |
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.' | |
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.' | |
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.' | |
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.' | |
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!' | |
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?' | |
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.' | |
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.' | |
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.' | |
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.' | |
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.' | |
'They taste like burning...' | |
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.' | |
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.' | |
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.' | |
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.' | |
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.' | |
'I'm not popular enough to be different!' | |
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.' | |
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!' | |
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.' | |
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.' | |
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.' | |
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.' | |
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.' | |
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.' | |
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.' | |
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?' | |
'Daddy.' | |
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.' | |
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.' | |
| Quote | Character |
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!' | |
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!' | |
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.' | |
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.' | |
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.' | |
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.' | |
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.' | |
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.' | |
'I am the Lizard Queen!' | |
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.' | |
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.' | |
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.' | |
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.' | |
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.' | |
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.' | |
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.' | |
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?' | |
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!' | |
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?' | |
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.' | |
'You, sir, are an idiot.' | |
'Hello, St. Louis!!' | |
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!' | |
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.' | |
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.' | |
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.' | |
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.' | |
'I'm a furniture!' | |
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.' | |
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?' | |
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!' | |
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.' | |
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