Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'They taste like burning...'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'

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