Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'They taste like burning...'
'I'm a furniture!'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
QuoteCharacter
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Daddy.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
QuoteCharacter
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'

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