Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'They taste like burning...'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
QuoteCharacter
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Daddy.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
QuoteCharacter
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'I'm a furniture!'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'

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