Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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QuoteCharacter
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'I'm a furniture!'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'They taste like burning...'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Daddy.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
QuoteCharacter
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
QuoteCharacter
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love...ly rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'

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