Television Quiz / 100 Simpsons Quotes

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Can you name the character who said these quotes?

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'Homer, a gun's not a toy. It's for protection or shooting dangerous or delicious animals.'
'There's no shame in being a pariah.'
'Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, and idiot, a pig, and a communist, but he is not a porn star!'
'Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but i've been tried as one.'
'I'm not popular enough to be different!'
'Silly customer. You cannot kill a Twinkie.'
'Hamlet is not only a great play but it also became a great movie, called 'Ghostbusters'.'
'Boys don't have feelings, they have muscles!'
'Oh, stupid movies. Who invented these dumb things, anyway?'
'I got sprayed by a skunk. Let me rub it off on your sweaters.'
'Hey Bart, you epidermis is showing!'
'If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.'
'You, sir, are an idiot.'
'What kind of 10 year old boy has a tea set?'
'It's BTO. They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their biggest hit was TCB.'
'Ahh, if it isn't my friend Mr. Mcgregg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.'
'Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.'
'You remind me of the monkey man who killed my father's chickens.'
'Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.'
'Hello, St. Louis!!'
'Book stores don't have answers, they just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of hallways.'
'Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.'
'You gotta nuke somethin'
'Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.'
'It's not enough to want the cracker. You have to earn it.'
'I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!'
'I demand to speak to my paleontologist.'
'Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?'
'Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.'
'If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!'
'I played hardball with Hollywood, the closest I will ever come to playing a sport in my life!'
'I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!'
'And now in the spirit of the season, start shopping.'
'Now I have to go home and make sure my pool boy is using his SKIMMER!'
'Fire can be our friend, whether its toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.'
'If you ask me, Muhammad Ali, in his prime, was better than anti-lock brakes.'
'I wished we lived in a place like the America of yesteryear that exists only in the mind of us Republicans.'
'my eye! I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!'
'Gambling is a victimless crime. The only victim is Moe.'
'Who'd thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?'
'Is it a crime to want nice things and then steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.'
'Boujooour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!'
'I don't want my last words to him to be 'cut your toenails, they look like Fritos'.'
'Please do not offer my god a peanut.'
'Oh, a sarcasm detector. That's a REALLY useful invention.'
'Homer, I think you've got the gun set on '****'.'
'I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.'
'Oh my god! Somebody's taken a bite of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.'
'Our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.'
'Hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the depression, too.'
'If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.'
'Um, excuse me, sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?'
'Miss Simpson, do you find anything funny about the word 'tromboner'?'
'I only call you skum compared to Krusty.'
'Ah, God. He's my favorite fictional character.'
'If you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'I'm a furniture!'
'We're not crying. We're vomiting through our eyes!'
'Sir, I got carsick in your office.'
'I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missour-ah!'
'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.'
'Think of it as a wake up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Should not have used helium.'
'I am the Lizard Queen!'
'I don't think real checks have exclamation points.'
'Don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate!'
'Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?'
'Homer, your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing. I may have to steal it for a while.'
'I'm Santa? Oh, now i'll never die.'
'I love children, particularly their young supple organs.'
'Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.'
'Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!'
'I think we'd all be better off if every country had its own planet.'
'All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that all of you are probably used to.. but i'm not.'
'How can I prove that we're live? Penis.'
'My theory is-Skinner likes dog food.'
'Oh, boy. Looks like suicide again for me.'
'Hey, if you're getting loaded off those fumes, I'm gonna have to charge you.'
'We don't believe fur is murder, but paying for it sure is.'
'Bingo? That's my favorite game! I just remember what to yell out when you win.'
'You sunk my scrabbleship!'
'Uh, hey everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.'
'This place is nothing like Animal House! I smashed a beatnik's guitar and he sued me for damages!.'
'Grandma had hair like that before she went to sleep in her forever box.'
'Your Honor, I call for a bad trial thingy.'
'Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace the word 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'.
'I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.'
'You call this a bicameral legislature?'
'There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for maximum comfort.'
'I don't get mad. I get stabby.'
'A woman doctor? Now I've seen everything.'
'I'm in love... no,wait. It's a stroke.'
'We will not negotiate with terrorists. Is there a nearby city who will?'
'That's Kabbala, jerk.'
'This country is so historic. For all we know, Jesus could've given a talk in Conference Room C!'
'Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making rope ladders in case of a fire.'
'Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins the movie by telling you how it ends.'
'I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.'
'They taste like burning...'
'I'll be bringin' spark plugs to chuck at people I don't like. Like you!'

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