Excellent! Take a stroll around the old town, then hop on a ferry and go East. You could have taken a flight to Vantaa airport instead, but you wanted to go duty-free shopping on M/S Mariella.
Well done! Now grab some Fazer chocolates, go ice-swimming and leave Helsinki. Initially, you had planned on going to Tallinn, but it has less than 500,000 inhabitants. Instead, you take an airBaltic flight to the capital of the country South of Estonia.
Welcome to Latvia! This country joined the EU in 2004. Visit the historical city centre and travel to your next destination. You can actually reach this city by bus; it's not far. You are now in the EU capital that is closest to the border of Belarus.
Great! Now hang out in Vingis Park for a while, but make sure not to miss your bus to the EU's only capital beginning with 'W'.
Welcome, Warsaw wisitor, uh, visitor! Now take a train to Poland's second largest city.
No time to snack on Prince Polo, you have to rush to Poland's third largest city (it's in the very centre of the country, some 140km from Warsaw).
Alright then, stroll down Piotrkowska Street for a while and get going again! Poland's fourth largest city is waiting - the former capital of Silesia.
Hello there! One more Polish city to go! It's on the Warta river, the 5th largest city of the country and starts with a 'P'.
Poznań, exactly! After a cup of tea in the old town, you head for the station and take a train to the capital of Germany.
Du bist ein Berliner (almost)! Try not to bump into Merkel, go to Schönefeld airport and take a flight to the capital situated on the islands of Zealand and Amager.
Denmark! Draw a little cartoon depicting a Lego minifigure with a bomb and rush to the Central Station to take a direct train to Germany's second largest city.
Sehr gut! Have a beer, avoid Reeperbahn (it's a rip-off), and take a train South to the capital of Lower Saxony (Niedersachsen). It also starts with an 'H'.
Goot jop! No time to rest - take a train to the city where Germany's biggest airport is located!
Have a sausage and take a flight to the capital of Portugal!
Sh**! You've lost your wallet in Frankfurt! Do you want it back?
Sporcle won't take 'no' for an answer! You need that wallet! You call the lost & found office in Frankfurt and find out that they have it there. You board a Frankfurt-bound flight, but because of fog in Frankfurt, it is diverted to Germany's largest city starting with 'S'!
Stuttgart, correct! You take an ICE train to Frankfurt, pick up your wallet and invest some money in a ticket to Germany's fourth-largest city, famous for its cathedral.
Fantastisch! You stay at a hotel and early the next day, you leave for Düs... .
Wonderful! There is another big city nearby, go there immedialty, because time is of the ....
...essence! Here in Essen, you have lunch, after which you take a train to Germany's 8th-largest city, which is also nearby. It's famour for it's football club Borussia...
Now, travel West to the European Union's capital.
Visit the European Parliament, then head for the airport and fly to the capital of Romania, which joined the EU in 2007.
Bucharest! Finally some place warm! Hey, Brussels and Bucharest both start with the same letter... what other EU capital also starts with that letter (not Bratislava)?
Budapest, exactly! You take in the view from Castle Hill, then you travel up the Danube to Austria's largest city.
Vienna! You visit the Prater and win a free trip to the capital of Czech republic!
Too many tourists for your taste. Leave! Take a train to Germany's third biggest city (in Bavaria).
There are almost as many tourists here as there are in Prague! And it's not even October... depressedly, you make your way to the station, with the intention of going to whatever city has the largest metropolitan area in Italy.
Directions to next city
That's right, Milan's metropolitan area is larger than Rome's! Anyway, travel West to the capital of Piedmont region.
Ciao! Now go down to the coast and visit the city that is home to Northern Italy's most important seaport.
Welcome to Liguria! You are rather close to the French border. Why don't you rent a yacht and go to the second most popolous city of France?
Très bien! But you've got no time for a rendez-vous in this city, hop back on your yacht and go to the capital of Catalonia. Just don't make a fuss about the region's status or about the fact that Catalan has not been recognised as an official EU language!
As I said, best to keep your mouth shut and get back on your yacht. Travel down the coast to Spain's biggest 'V'-city.
OK, have some paella and move your behind back on the yacht! Time to go to the biggest city between Gibraltar and Almeria, situated on the Coast del Sol!
Enjoy the sun, but not for too long! You have to drop off your yacht here and hire a car instead. Drive to the capital of Andalusia, probably the de-facto capital of Southern Spain.
Muy bien! Que pasa now? Right! After a visit to the Museum of fine Arts, you drive to Spain's capital.
That was easy! Now drive further North to Spain's biggest 'Z' city.
Hmmm, best to go back to Madrid. After all, there is an airport here and you would really like to fly to the capital of Bulgaria NOW!
No time to climb Mount Vitosha or to visit the royal palace, your friend from Sicily called and invited you to his wedding, which takes place in the island's major city. Fly there!
Sicily! Your friend's fiancee chickened out in the very last minute, so there is no wedding party... tant pis, you say, rent a car and drive to the capital of Campania (a type of pizza is named after this city).
The Napoletani are good folks, but you really need to get going. You haven't even been to Italy's capital yet!
Don't visit Vatican City - it's not in the EU! Ignoring all the rumours about a 17-year old who alledgedly raped the poor president, you make your way to the airport and board a flight to Schiphol airport, which is the airport of...
Amsterdam! No go to the city that is home to the largest port in Europe (also in the Netherlands).
Excellent! Hire a car and drive East to Germany. There is one more city you have to visit in that country. It's a Hanseatic city starting with 'B' (a city and a Federal State at the same time).
Bremen, a good place to enjoy a cold beer. Now, go to the city where you can feel cozy with Sarkozy!
Paris! Grey, ugly, expensive, crowded, messy and disorganised, the city of disrespect! aaaah, sorry, the city of LOVE! Anyway, the RATP (rentre avec tes pieds) takes you to the gare du nord, from where you can take the Eurostar to St Pancras station, which is in ...
London! Finally an English-speaking country! Take a domestic flight to Scotland's largest city and yell at random people because the UK is not in Schengen and doesn't have the euro.
Have a ball with the Glaswegians and head back to England. You are really good, by the way. The next city is in West Yorkshire and starts with an 'L'.
Cool! Now, drive further South to the West Midlands.
Aaah, the smell of the Industrian Revolution! I am being genereous now. The next city is Sheffield.
How did you find out? Anyway, go back to London and take a flight to Southern France, to the 'Airbus city'.
Freaking good! Now, travel East to the third-largest city of France.
Bienvenue a Lyon! And the final destination is.... the capital of bankruptcy, i.e. the capital of the country that needed a bail-out and where there is an island called Crete.
You have made it! You have been to all cities in the EU that have a population of more than 500,000 people in the city proper! Congrats!