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QUIZ: Can you name the Character that says this quote?

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QuoteCharacter
'Once again, C.I.A. body-doubles are for work purposes ONLY, people. Using your double to finish making love to a Jet Blue stewardess - because you were too drunk - is a definite n
'I have to hold on to this bag of cat food, or I might float away.'
'Our top story, a car was broken into Cherry Street this afternoon. My car. The suspect was six-foot two and a bastard!'
'Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?'
'Oh, I've got claws. Look how fat you are. See? Kitty can scratch.'
' I'm not ready for Steve to make the change. He's gonna have man breath, and his poops won't smell good anymore.'
'By the way, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles, Hayley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God!'
'Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?'
'Good call, babe. You can do better.'
'It's times like this that I wish I had a wife. So, I could turn to her and say 'Stop eating that bread, you fat pig, look at your thighs, you disgust me.'
QuoteCharacter
'I touched her hand... her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I got some boob! Algebra's awesome!'
'Okay. I'm cool. Whatever life throws at me, I can take it, because I am a strong, independant, black woman... I mean, white teenager. Oh God, I'm gonna die out here!'
'Clooney, you smug bastard. Stop playing basketball and get married like the rest of us. '
'Let's see, how do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. (inhales) Ah, Mountain Pine.'
'A cult of muderous housewives. Before 9/11, I wouldn't have believed it, or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions. But that's just not the world we live in anymore.'
'Hawaii?! Thats where Japan goes to play golf!'
'It's the cops! Quick, flush me down the toilet!'
'Okay, people, again, the curare darts are not toys. They're for temporarily paralyzing your enemies...or just chilling out to some Zeppelin.'
'Look, Mr. Smith, your stress zits are going away. Yay!'
'Hello. Are you from a religion? Because we're happy with the God we have now.'

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