That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps; forgot to look.
Ron, this is a Federal tax audit. You could go to jail. Jail Ron. Ron Jail. Jail Ron. Jail. You could go to jail! Jail. Jail. Jail.
That's Swanson family mash liquor. Made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil.
Drink up, Tom. I'm gonna go powder my nose... amongst other things... if you know what I mean.
You're stranded on a desert island, what's the one thing you bring with you?
Oh God. I wonder who else was born in Eagleton...
What is wrong with you today?
Treat
Yeah you know what? I'm gonna do that! I'm gonna treat myself. Thanks you guys. [starts crying] I really needed this. I'm gonna treat myself!
I've taught them too well. I've created a mob of little Leslie Knope monsters. I'm so proud.
Oh yeah shock wire! I call it that cause if you take a shower and you touch the wire, YOU DIE!!!
Well, Entertainment 720 is dead. It's up in company heaven along with Pets.com, Blockbuster, and Ask Jeeves.
How about Germany?
I value a good education, so I don't want to see Andy waste his time in college. Of all my co-workers, he's one of a small number whom I don't actively root against.
But we never had any other romantic contact after that?
It's true. I no longer have highly trained, professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained, professional assassins?
He is attractive, and charming, and his family employs half the town. But so what? I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who's well versed in the issues.
When I eat,
Nobody here compares to Millicent. Except maybe Jerry. Technically, they share 50% of the same DNA.
Never half-ass two things.
'Not enough ramps' is the number three complaint among Pawnee seniors,
I've gotten to know the city councilmen pretty well because of my campaign.
Now if you'll excuse me, there's a hot, spinning cone of meat in that Greek restaurant next door.
If I had to have anybody tell me that I have cancer,
What do we want for our city? I'll tell you what I want. I want better schools. I want cleaner streets. I want to expel the violent gangs of geese in Detweiler Square.
Someday, when I'm more emotionally stable, I want to read the concession speech you wrote for me.
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