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Can you figure out who said these quotes from Juno?

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QuotePerson
''Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other.' Aw... all that's missing is your bastard!'
'Oh. My wife ordered one of those Tony Little Gazelles off the television... I don't know about that guy. He doesn't look right.'
'When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don't want to. All i see is pork swords.'
'You seem to be getting pregnanter these days.'
'That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet.'
'You're not going to be a pop-pop. Somebody else is going to find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.'
'You're quite the sellout, Mark. I mean... what would the Melvins say?'
'I'm gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.'
'Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.'
'Madison? Isn't that a little... gay?'

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