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Evil will always prevail, because good is dumb.1987
... well, I have a microphone and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say...1998
Good morning! And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.1998
Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!1997
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.1980
Do you prefer fashion victim or ensemblelly challenged?1995
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.1996
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.1995
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super-fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!2001
I don't have to take this abuse from you; I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.1984
The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody!1979
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.1991
You are everything I never knew I always wanted.1997
You can’t respect someone who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.1986
Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day and look at it and say ‘this is not my life’.1993
So let me get this straight. You broke in again to apologize for breaking in yesterday.1995
There’s only two men I trust. One of ‘em’s me, the other one’s not you.1997
Honey, just ’cause I talk slow doesn’t mean I’m stupid.2002
There’s nothing like a first kiss.2004
Don’t say we aren't right for each other, the way I see it is… We aren't right for anyone else.1992

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