Sports Quiz / Roast of NBA Eastern Conference Teams

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Can you name the NBA eastern conference team by the roast of their fanbases?

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'Well we really need a point guard, and these Chris Paul and Deron Williams guys look pretty good, but let's take a 7th PF instead'
The most delusional fanbase in all of sports. 2 titles in 60 years is nothing special, you're not a good franchise just because of your city
Congrats on having the girliest team name in all of sports. Might as well have called yourselves the 'Princesses' or 'Unicorns'
Congratulations on getting a bunch of all-stars together who were too cowardly to try to win on their own!
Wait, the NBA added a new team in 2004? Why didn't they tell anyone?
The movie Jurassic Park was pretty popular back in 1993. It's not that popular anymore though, so MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE NAMED YOUR TEAM AFTER IT BACK THEN
Only made it past the first round once since the 80s? I'd sooner fear Bambi
Stop talking about the titles you won 60 years ago when there were only 6 teams. The Lakers have spanked you 10-4 since the 80's.
Your fans are so annoying that a player came into the stands in order to punch one. Also your team is boring, dirty, and heading into the toilet...just like your city
Now that you have a new owner, the players better step it up, or they'll die in a 'mysterious boating accident' like his former business rivals in Moscow.
Okay, so you had that one dominant player. Your franchise has done nothing before or after him.
The best player you'll ever have just roasted your city and team on national TV, so I really have nothing else to add
Your players are always trying to shoot eachother in the locker room, so how come they can't shoot at all on the court?
Only one title since the 60's? Maybe your players need more 'practice'
Drafting as many white players as possible in order to appeal to your racist fanbase isn't a good strategy for winning games, Larry

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