Science Quiz / What parasite do I have?

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Can you name the How did I get this parasite??

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How I got itScientific NameWhat it did to my body
I knew I shouldn't have spent the night at Albert's. He didn't even have pet crabs like everyone said.1 shake is an itch and more than that is playing with myself, but I swear It really itches!
I was eating raw crabThree months later it started laying eggs in my lungs and now I keep coughing up blood
I used Chelsea's hair brush, what a lousy ideaApparently these guys made a meal out of my blood and now I can't stop itching my head!
I haven't really been very safe in some of my promiscuous activitiesWon't be doing that anymore, for one it hurts to have sex and secondly some disgusting discharge is coming out.
I was walking around barefoot in the park and it penetrated into my skinThis little sucker robbed me of nutrients and gave me anemia!
I have a tendency to bite my nails.I didn't really notice anything until I woke in the middle of the night with an itchy butt and little worms on me!
I thought it was just a mosquito bite but apparently it was a worm for blood trading postThese worms traveling in my blood started blocking lymph fluid and my legs started to swell, later my skin started to harden and now I'm the biggest freak in the village
I hate these anopheles mosquitos, they think they are entitled to bite whoever they want.These parasites are housing in my blood cells and causing them to rupture but the natives say I probably just got some bad air
I went hiking this weekend, the streams were so beautiful, I couldn't help but take a few sips.Serious diarrhea and anemia, apparently these guys coated my entire intestinal track
How I got itScientific NameWhat it did to my body
I was trying to beat my buddy in an underwater breathing contest, I lost, and water went up my nose!He went through my olfactory nerve into my brain and started munching
I was walking through the water in China and it penetrated into my skinIt laid eggs in my blood vessels and some of them got trapped in my body tissues. This caused an immune reaction and egg granulomas.
I was really thirsty and drank from the stream near our campsiteDestroyed the tissues in my intestines, giving me a whole mess of disgutsting symptoms
I was just cleaning fluffy's litterboxI'm alright but my baby came out with some learning defects
I may have under cooked the pork chops just a bit.At first I had diarrhea, abdominal pain and vomitting but the it created a cyst in my muscle and I had some myalgia
Spending some time in africa and I just keep getting bitten by mosquitosMultiplied in my blood and then infected my brain. It's not easy being a parasite nursery, I am so tired.
I was doing some gardening and got some of the fertilizer in my mouth on accident, this is especially disgusting because the main ingredient of my fertilizer is human fecesAt first it was hard to breath and I thought maybe it was just a bad cough, but then I got a fever and the only solid thing in my feces were these white worms.
I have been staying at a shelter for the past few days and we all share blanketsThe little bugger made a love shack in my skin and started laying eggs everywhere! The whole ordeal left me itchy from the allergic reaction

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