Quote | Character |
'Two weeks ago, I would’ve agreed that four men rehearsing a capella hip-hop in my living room was embarrassing.' | |
'There's no way I'm going back to juvie. There's no chicks and no kosher meal options up in that place.' | |
'The roads to the North Pole are getting treacherous. And remember, even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.' | |
'I came up with the best baby name of all time: Drizzle.' | |
'Just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me too.' | |
'When I was little if I got all A's my dad would let me wash his car, so I'd get my little toothbrush out and I'd clean it all weekend long.' | |
'I am a powerful woman, and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality!' | |
'There's NOTHING ironic about show choir!' | |
'When my mom applied to college, she put being popular as her main extracurricular activity. And she got in to Arizona State.' | |
'I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and shot it.' | |
'I want to be like a Kardashian. I want a TV show, and a fragrance.' | |
'If I was in love with a girl and I wasn’t homeless, I’d totally go for it.' | |
'If anyone else got Tony, including me, the wrath of Sondheim would fall upon William McKinley like a plague of Shubert Alley locusts.' | |
'I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits. It's the smell of failure, and it's stinking up my office.' | |
'This is one of the hardest decisions of my life. And that includes when I had to sell one of my prize donkeys to pay my gas bill.' | |
'That's sweet. Your remember the masculine click of my designer boots.' | |
'Why do we have to go all vanilla on this song? What we need is my chocolate thunder.' | |
'I finally realized my lifelong ambition of being a mistress to an incredibly wealthy strip-mall tycoon.' | |
'First, students who ate the ravioli today, and are not up to date on their Tetanus shots should see the nurse immediately.' | |
'I told my mom and I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea out of panda hair.' | |
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