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Can you name the character/s who said these lines?

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'I'd shake your hand, but it's taped to my a**'
'Dude your jeans are really tight'; 'I'm not gay'
'If he were an apple he'd be a delicious'
'Hey twinkle douche, if I ran into in the cafeteria I would've taped you to a lunch lady'
'You have the butt of a twelve-year-old boy!'
'You stay here I'm going to go smell him'; 'You not allowed to smell 17-year-old boys'
'Stan stop you're going to go to jail again!'
'Who would want to have a kid with Uncle Ned'
'*name* pants'; 'I should put pants on'
'I guess I'll just have to unwrap you'
'Were going to take my car, not some goddy tacky limo'
'I was kicked off the cheerleading squad for being too flexible'
'Your shirt is bedazzled'; 'Bedazzled with rinestones'
'Carnations what a douche'
'I think our hands just made a baby'
'Are you peacocking, do you seriously think that'll work'
'Do you dance with all your friends' moms?'; 'Pretty much'
'Oh I get it. You want to play games. Okay, I'll be the hungry lioness and you can be the baby gazelle!'
'Okay, that's not safe or sanitary. That's your can now. We'll label it like that. '
One... underneath all that male bravado, there's an insecure little girl banging on the closet door trying to get out.
'Why are you burping';' What i have tummy issues get over it!'
'Why are you dating him? He's bullying your little brother.'; 'Who are you my father?'
'No. I'm rich and no one's shoved my head in a toilet today'
'You can plunder my dungeon anytime'
'Three... Stan has a small wiener...don't hurt yourself big boy'
the sun rises and sets with you
Nothing but a glorified kid wrangler

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