| Quote | Movie |
|---|
| 'Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.' | |
| 'He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.' | |
| 'No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.' | |
| 'You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. ' | |
| 'My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.' | |
| 'Look man you told my fiancee she needs to give me bloweys, in front of my whole family. Alright you owe me. ' | |
| 'I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?' | |
| 'And then your Mommy said, 'Just do it already!' which was very confusing to Daddy, so I took the most literal translation. ' | |
| 'Hey, man, y'all see a little Asian dude about this height with a steering wheel on his arm?' | |
| 'I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.' | |
| | Quote | Movie |
|---|
| 'Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?' | |
| 'I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working' | |
| 'I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.' | |
| 'You know how when you grab a woman's breast... it feels like... a bag of sand.' | |
| 'Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it's the worst thing I could do.' | |
| 'Well, yes but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes.' | |
| 'I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.' | |
| 'Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!' | |
| 'We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!' | |
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