Music / Old English Lyrics

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Can you name the modern songs these Old English lyrics are inspired by?

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Old English LyricsSong TitleModern Day Lyric
'I had intended to engage in paid labor, but instead became intoxicated'
'At a distant locale, somewhere far along this trail, he lost his essence to a wench lacking a vital organ'
'Frolic in the manner of a cobblestone, Frolic in the manner of a cobblestone in the after hour sky'
'If thoust dabbles in the trade of promiscuous women, negroid cleanse thine soiled shoulder blades'
'I do possess 99 quarrels, but a wench can not be identified as one'
'Thou shalt refer to me as Sir Flintstone, for I have the ability to discompose your bassinet'
'Oh nay, It feels swell to willingly partake in illegal activities in order to portray thouself as somewhat of a brute'
'Great Scott! She is quite a desirable wench'
'Couldst the appropriate Slim Shady kindly arise'
'To thine window, to thine wall, till thine perspiration descends downward from thine genitalia'
'I am in possession of an inexorbitant amount of legal tender upon my person, and my magnanimous and costly intoxicant has been properly chilled'
'Whenever the gentleman of the house is in, my lady, release it as if it were a really warm object'
'I long for the currency, currency and the stagecoaches, stagecoaches and the robes, the wenches , I suppose, I long to be, I long to be a wealthy sire'
'We were both at a tender age when I first did rest mine eyes upon your visage, and at that point, I began to have recollections of my past'
'Greetings Jude, Do not make your present situation worse, take a melancholy tune and improve it's quality'
Old English LyricsSong TitleModern Day Lyric
'Make the acquaintance of a sea dwelling creature of abnormal proportions, in a position of authority'
'Upon every new morrow, I engage in the process of hustling'
'They observe me operating my automobile; they are prejudice'
'I'm strolling upon the light which the sun is emitting, Whoa-oa-oa.
'Abruptly roused at mid day I presumed I ought to be in the Compton province directly'
'I say good sir, I have many maidens of ill repute engaging in frottage inside of my parlor, forsooth they shall not egress until shortly after dawn'
'The sensation of liberty arises from this melody, we must carouse, frolic and commemorate without impedance once more'
'I doth desire thy affection, I doth desire thy vengeance, thou and I could pen a terrible affair'
'I shall escort you to ye olde candy shop, I shall allow you to lick thee lollipop'
'Nay, he is incapable of deciphering my gambling visage'
'I am enamored of ample posteriors, furthermore, I find myself unable to utter falsehoods'
'Verily I shall not make the claim this female is a prospector of fine aurum. Alas, she is not found in the company of negro gentleman who lack currency'
'You and I, Infant, are naught but creatures of the taxonomickingdom mammalia, Therefore let us engage in behavior mirrored by subjects on The Discovery Channel'
'When I arise on the morrow, I feel like Sean Combs doth'
'Fornication doth enthuse me, I seek not love-making'

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