Television / Friends Quote Minefield

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Can you name the main characters of Friends that said these quotes without making mistakes?

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QuoteCharacter
Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Ooh, I'm a man. Ooh, I have a penis. Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women.
Yeah, especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around.
Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Hey, can we turn on the TV? I think it's raining outside.
Whatever dude. You kissed a guy.
I'll cancel the sodas...
Well you might if it were anything like 7.
Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches.
Come on. You guys can pee standing up.
QuoteCharacter
You have two new messages. Please pass the pie.
I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you?
Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Oh, look. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his Christmas tree. Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls.
Ew, ew, ew, ew. Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster.
Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribianni.
How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Look at me, I'm Chandler, could I be wearing anymore clothes?
What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.

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