| Quote | Character | Play |
|---|
| O me! You juggler! You cankerblossom! You thief of love! | |
| I pray you do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine. Besides, I like you not. | |
| My only love sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown, and known too late. | |
| The oath of a lover is no stronger than the word of a tapster. | |
| Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind. | |
| Then must you speak of one that loved not wisely, but too well. | |
| Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn. | |
| I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will. | |
| Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee. | |
| 'Get thee to a nunnery.' | |
| That's a terrific guess. It really is. You should feel good about that. | |
| 'My mistress with a monster is in love.' | |
| They say the Macbeths had the happiest marriage in Shakespeare. | |
| Oh sure, it would be SO easy if she had a quote in here. | |
| 'I've started seeing this Egyptian girl, Octavius.' | |
| Eventually growing battle-weary, Troilus spent the final years of the Trojan War backpacking in the Ukraine. | |
| 'I can't get this damn spot out.' (approximate quote) | |
| Lysander was cut from the quiz due to length. We apologize for the inconvenience. | |
| 'I'll see thee hanged on Sunday first.' | |
| Better known for co-starring in 'Grease'. | |
| See: Orsino | |
| 'Orsino' is actually Turkish for 'boring the audience to tears'. | |
| Oh, I'm sure Feste has some stupid song on the subject. | |
| 'I do desire we may be better strangers.' | |
| Caesar was too busy talking about himself in the third person. | |
| 'Oh, you put me to sleep and cast a love spell on me? That's HILARIOUS.' | |
| He was in this quiz, but then he couldn't stand the color scheme and stormed out. | |
| All played by Clint Howard. | |
| Played by David Strathairn. | |
| 'Please, sir, I want some more.' | |
| 'Curse that Robin Hood!' (I haven't read it, but I assume that's in there somewhere) | |
| 'Portia, some of the guys are coming over later...' | |
| Inventor of the Assembly-Line. | |
| Kind of an ''eh, why not?'' sort of guess, isn't it? | |
| I still haven't read Cymbeline. | |
| Played by...whoever plays Titania, I guess. | |
| You could beat Florizel half to death with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and he still wouldn't badmouth love. | |
| 'Mommy! The peasants were mean to me!' | |
| 'A fool usurps my bed.' | |
| 'Love foreswore me in my mother’s womb.' | |
| Best remembered from ''One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.'' | |
| 'I can hardly forbear hurling things at him.' | |
| Edgar had a lot of other stuff to worry about. | |
| 'I would not wed her for a mine of gold.' | |
| You're not just guessing title characters, are you? | |
| Played by Pete Postlethwaite's cheekbones. | |
| I think I avoided the Hamlet quotes altogether. | |
| Played by Roger Rees. | |
| There's a missing scene in R&J where Romeo and Mercutio keep locking him out of the car. | |
| Little known fact: Tybalt's rage is motivated entirely by painful hemorrhoids. | |
| Now retired and living in Yonkers, New York. | |
| Two characters created by a Shakespearean typo. | |
| The George Costanza to Hamlet's Jerry. | |
| The one who should've been eaten by the bear. | |
| 'Urp.' | |
| 'This wimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy, this Signor Junior, giant dwarf, Dan Cupid,' | |
| Played by Nicholas Cage. (Who misread the script) | |
| Played, inexplicably, by Dame Judi Dench. | |
| 'You behave with my daughter, young man, or I will magic spell the crap out of you.' | |
| Congratulations! You win the secret 'name a character from Two Gents' contest! | |
| Yes, yes, he had lots of interesting things to say. | |
| 'No, wait, now that I think about it, this isn't my handkerchief at all.' | |
| 'Choose your sword, hamlet--no, no! Not that one. Pick again.' | |
| At least they're more interesting than Laertes. | |
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