I'd like to see the Spaniard who could make his way past me.
The word is that your servant is the worst servant in London.
I've been in your service since I was two and a half, my lord.
Oh, no, just a wild stab in the dark...
I must profess, madam, I am astonished that Blackadder could possibly have eyes for any other woman than yourself.
There you go, Balders. You look sweet as a little pie.
Thanks, bridesmaid. Like the beard.
She's got a tongue like an electric eel...
Right, Baldrick. Let's try this again, shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
But the fashion of today is towards the tiny.
Right.Good morning, team, my name is Edmund Blackadder...
And you cook for them what they desire?
Oh, come now, Lady Farrow. Crying isn't going to help your husband now.
Well, Farrow was rather moving, my lord. A great, strong man, he stood there gaunt and noble in the early morning mist and in a loud, clear voice he cried out...
That Farrow bloke you executed this morning, are you sure he's dead?
Look, cretins, the bag is there in order to obscure Baldrick's own features...
Although there is something lurking at the back of my head that bothers me.
Ah, Blackadder. Started talking to yourself, I see?
You'd never dare. Why, around the cape, the rain beats down so hard it makes your head bleed.
You have a woman's purse, my lord! I'll wager that purse has never been used as a rowing boat.
I was under the impression that it's common maritime practice for a ship to have a crew.
Do not despair, good woman. He died a hero's death, giving his life that his friends might live.
Someone wants to see me at four in the morning?
Baldrick, this is Mollie, a dear friend of mine.
William Greaves. Born 1513 in Chelmsford, with the love of Christ.
Certainly not. When Lord Blackadder is in trouble, he does sit about.
Well, what we're talking about in privy terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below.
Do people call me 'Privy Breath'?
You see, I am a collosal pervert. No form of sexual depravity is too low for me.
AAAHH! Drugged, by God.
You fiend! Never before have I encountered such corrupt, foul-minded perversity!
And don't say 'Tush' either.
Yes, but they have one great redeeming feature: their wallets.
But, my lord, I've been in your family since 1532.
Oh, Edmund, quick, quick. Melchett's dying! We must do something.
Does that happen when you have lots of brilliant ideas? Your foot falls off?
Will you be wanting me to cut anything off? An arm or a leg, for instance?
Uncle, aunt! How nice to see you.
I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman. but I have the heart and stomach...
If we went around punishing people for being stupid...
Oh, God! What on Earth was I drinking last night?
It's up to you. Either you can shut up or you can have your head cut off.
I hope this scum has not inconwenienced you.
You find yourself amusing, Blackadder?
Nothinm,ma'am. Just a mere trifle I threw together.
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