Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.
Hey Barney, see that girl?
How do you do this Ted? How do you sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?
Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs.
I'm not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time!
Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
What are you doing here?
I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
'And so, I licked the Liberty Bell.' 'How did it taste?'
So where are you from, heaven?
Studying law... Making a responsible choice for my future... On a Friday night...
Wow, so you got beat up by a girl?
But there's still one big question that need to be answered...
What happened to that, uh, 'cutlet' you were grinding with?
You know, Ted, I don't say this nearly enough, but I really value our-
Say you're my bitch.
I never played any team sports.
Ted, I promise we will find you somebody. Don't lose hope.
It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse... you know...
You guys are the world's leader in hand gun violence; your health care system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.
Wow, this is kind of exciting. Our names will forever be shrouded in-
You're getting on board with Barney's idea. Man, you really have snapped!
And if economic sanctions and trade restrictions aren't enforced, the destruction of the rainforests will continue, and over a million species will be wiped out.
So wait, not only have you not done any good for anyone today, you're actually helping someone steal from the homeless?
Hey, you know that scene in Empire where they lower the helmet onto Darth Vader's head? Do you think that's how Sandy puts his hair on in the morning?
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