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Rum must only be drunk by the president
All snakes must be shipped out of the USA
Kung Fu must be taught in all schools
Palaeontologists must receive more funding
When referring to another, people may only use their title followed by their surname
Criminals must be physically scarred for life by the government
Anger management classes must be free
Every person must know at least one line from Ezekiel
A new federal holiday called 'Lazy Day' must be introduced
Every person must have at least one pink item of clothing
All police officers must wear cameras to record any cases of racial injustice
All movies must have a cheesy tagline
The president must live in Kansas
Disco music must not be played anywhere
Fight clubs should exist, but must not be talked about
The rich must be subject to increased taxes in order to reduce interest rates for student loans
Revenge kills must be allowed
The president must not work on Christmas Eve - even in national emergencies
Teachers must be allowed to teach whatever they want - even if its not in the curriculum
All books by authors the president likes must be approved by the president before being published
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