'I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything.'
'I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you.'
'What I said was, ''Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.'''
'We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work.'
'Biking for charity is literally one of my interests on Facebook.'
'Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don't you? It's important to me that you know that.'
'Now I have everyone in city hall sending me pictures of their junk asking me if they have mumps.'
'If I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee.'
'I think that comic sans always screams fun, right?'
'I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba.'
Comments