Some quotes have been slightly altered or shortened to fit in the space, but still convey enough information for meaning and joke purposes. Quotes are from the extended DVD version as well as the TV version.
Chandler: 'Look, you're a really nice person, ...'
Monica: 'We can categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files' Chandler: 'This is where your organized pain in the ass stuff pays off' Monica: 'I know! ...'
Rachel: 'Who the hell are you?' Gavin: 'Who the hell are you?' Rachel: '...'
Monica: 'Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kinda way' Ross: 'Yeah obvious beauty's the worst, me I like to have to work to find someone attractive, ...'
Chandler: 'Don't blame me if it doesn't work, cause you know as well as I do once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not he is going to ...'
Joey: 'Now there are obstacles, hot nanny and me against the world, this it the kind of stuff great novels are made of' Chandler: 'Great novels?' Joey: 'Fine, ...'
Ross: 'Well Joey, I guess we have no problem' Joey: 'It's like my favorite fairy-tale come true, the princess, the stable boy and ...'
Gavin: 'I got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you' Rachel: 'Aw, well okay, well that's very nice and you wrote a card - from Gavin' Gavin: '...'
Chandler: 'Hey' Ross: 'Yeah yeah okay sure, can we talk about what happened here last night?' Chandler: 'Sure just give me a second to get ... like you'
Ross: 'If she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, well then ...'
Chandler: 'How's the moving on going?' Ross: 'Not well, I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand, but that person was neither female nor ...'
Ross: 'You break the ice with a joke, you're the funny one then I swoop in with some interesting conversation so they'll see I'm the brilliant brooding sexy one' Chandler: '...'
Ross: 'I just keep striking out' Chandler:'I don't get it either, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're ...'
Phoebe: 'They should be a family, they should get married and have more children' Joey: 'Yes and they should name one of their kids Joey, I may not have kids, someone's gotta ...'
Phoebe: 'How do you even know a woman like that?' Joey: 'What what? I'm not allowed to know smart women?' Phoebe: 'Joey' Joey: 'I met her at the library, ...'
Steve: 'That's right, I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys and I'm pretty sure ...'
Joey: 'You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of a ...'
Monica: 'Oh thank god, Emma there you are' Rachel: 'What, what do you mean there you are, where was she?' Monica: 'We were playing peek-a-boo, ...'
Waiter: 'We do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry' Steve: 'I have such fat hands, ...'
Chandler: 'Actually it pays nothing, it's an internship' Joey: 'Oh that's cool, we have interns at Days of our Lives' Chandler: 'Right so it'll be the same except ...'
Ross: 'I know we've only gone out like twice, but I don't know, I have a really good feeling about her' Phoebe: 'Aw, ...'
Chandler: 'They've got these wheels that pop out from the bottom, because apparently walking is too much exercise, kids kids, roll your way to ...'
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