| Character Quote | Character Name |
|---|
| If I wanted to run a monkey hotel I'd instal a banana buffet. I'd use vines as elevators, and i'd put tail holes in the bath robes, and I'd lower all the shower knobs. | |
| I had no idea alcohol would make people horny. Makes me sleepy. | |
| Well, I hope you found tonight therapeutic because I would love to pretend that that was my plan. | |
| Set phasers to love me! | |
| When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn’t such a big deal. | |
| Pizza, pizza, go in tummy, me so hungee, me so hungee! | |
| Damn it Annie! Have you been playing detective? You are going to Nancy screw me out of my credit! | |
| I'll see you at precisely 6:30. Or as the English call it, 'Grave Digger's Biscuits.' | |
| If you have to ask you are streets behind. | |
| I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me. | |
| Try not to wear as much lipstick as you did on Valentine's. Your mouth looked like a coin purse. | |
| I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic! | |
| You know, when there’s three sprinkled donuts, you don’t eat one and lick another. | |
| It's called a Complisult. Part compliment, part insult. He invented them. I coined the term. | |
| I’M A MILLIONAIRE. I’M AN INVENTOR. I’M A LEGEND. And I had sex with Eartha Kitt. | |
| | Character Quote | Character Name |
|---|
| The way she left, I could tell that somebody – or something – had really put the scare on her. But what? Why? Stapler? Was I crazy, or were they somehow connected? | |
| My name is Alex | |
| I'm not a coat rack. | |
| heh! What a year! Only two pregnancy scares! | |
| I can't believe Jeff attacked a table with a fire axe and is still only the second craziest person in the room. | |
| We earn the right to pick on Greendale everyday by going there. Our school may be a toilet, but it’s our toilet. Nobody craps in it but us! | |
| I need help reacting to something. | |
| Guys, Shirley just showed up wearing another ambiguous costume. I don't know who she's supposed to be, but she's definitely not Miss Piggy. | |
| Great job on this! Hard to believe i'm not really not really in space. | |
| What do you need a paper for? You knew what was gonna happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic eight ball! | |
| Everyone's my bro, because we're all connected. Sharks, eagles, hats. | |
| I felt more confident when I had a front stinger. | |
| Well, Shirley, since you've clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you: Men are monsters who crave young fles | |
| Pop pop! | |
| I'm gonna eat spaceman paninis with black Hitler and there is nothing you can do about it! | |
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