| Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'Can you fly?' | |
| 'Cordelia wears bras. Oo! She has girl parts!' | |
| 'Prancing away like a magnificent poof!' | |
| 'Maybe I'm a little attracted.' | |
| 'You broke it!' | |
| 'See I have this...gun, and I don't want to come off as insensitive, but if either of you tries to stop me I'm gonna have to blow you the crap away, because I got to go find my Dad | |
| 'Just don't tell Cordelia. She'll wanna charge you.' | |
| 'It was rude. We should go kill it.' | |
| 'Well, if it's a fight they want--can't someone else give it the them?' | |
| 'What's a rogue demon?' | |
| 'You'd be locked up faster than Lady Hamilton's virtue!' | |
| 'I don’t think I ever realized just how disgusting that was. Get her back to bed.' | |
| 'Maybe you could crush the beans with your vampire strength? Just mush the bag. Mush it.' | |
| “That blade is very old. Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it!” | |
| “Well, I guess I can forget about reading him his rights.” | |
| 'I will not give you a single red cent. What I will do, Sir, is beat it out of you if I have to.' | |
| 'Well, if he's homicidal, I'm thinking, YEAH!' | |
| 'Gosh. That one wasn't a blank.' | |
| 'Oh - and I'm thinking - sugar high? Maybe not a great idea.' | |
| ''I'm the boss here, I say when we use the cell phones and people are gonna die and - I have to go.' | |
| 'Ow! Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on?!' | |
| 'Uh, oops! I may have made a tiny mistake.' | |
| 'At first I was afraid; I was petrified.' | |
| 'Angel, you don't find me--especially paranoid, do you?' | |
| 'They told me you was ugly, but damn!' | |
| 'He's a vampire, you know.' | |
| 'That's why I rarely go to church.' | |
| 'See? What?! That's the plan? Walkin' real quick was the plan?' | |
| 'How about, we cruise around with the top down, and you take big whiffs?!' | |
| 'I'm quite good with the ladies myself, you know.' | |
| 'Yeah, you seem all calm and homey. - Are you on drugs?' | |
| 'Did I do something to displease you?' | |
| 'Hey, alright? Hey, hey, hey, you're gonna cut me down, right? You're not just gonna leave me hanging here, man? Hey! Hey! I'm spinning here, man. - Freaking vampires.' | |
| 'Three fifths of the world covered in water, the rest covered in me!' | |
| 'Mister 'Get-to-the-Point-y Pants!' | |
| 'Is this morphine? Well, it's bloody lovely!' | |
| 'Welcome to the home office.' | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'Well, yay you, Zuzu's petals! It's about time.' | |
| 'I don't wanna stay alone here with the ghost.' | |
| 'You got no business..! What-why aren't you trying to kill me?!' | |
| 'Yeah, Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel.' | |
| 'I think we're winning!' | |
| 'And with me being dead and you not being real I can hardly be expected to have some big conversation with you at the moment, because it's just a little too much pressure, alright? | |
| 'There's no place like...Willow?' | |
| 'And look how it brings out my breasts!' | |
| 'Has - has anyone ever told you you're exactly like Lassie? Yeah. You're like Angel's Lassie.' | |
| 'You know, ask yourself this: if I'd killed Merl would I've - brought donuts?' | |
| 'I gotta pee.' | |
| 'Well, I knew about the tacos.' | |
| 'No, ass-wipe. I'm here to send you back.' | |
| 'You wanna feel it kick?' | |
| 'If you don't tell me right now, I'm gonna have your skin peeled off and stapled back on, inside-out.' | |
| 'It's a thing with the door and the stairs and the world and the thing. Never mind!' | |
| 'What are we talking about? Some kind of Mr. Miyagi groove thing? Wax on, wax off.' | |
| 'Can we not talk about my underwear, please?' | |
| 'Snow. Trees. Chipmunk robots on ice...' | |
| 'You know, I was cool before I met y'all.' | |
| 'Angel, your coat is singing.' | |
| 'They're itty-bitty hockey sticks!' | |
| 'Texas doesn't hate the black man. Texas loves the black man!' | |
| 'You know, not speaking would be a really good look for you.' | |
| 'Don't go dissin' my girl.' | |
| 'Oh, my, god. We have a pool?' | |
| 'Yes. We must always consider Angel. Angel is our leader. We must obey his wishes.' | |
| 'And you're the bastard son of two demons.' | |
| 'Oh, you wish to have sex?!' | |
| 'He said make sure... Wait. You don't - think he was referring to anything of mine that's fluffy, do you? Because that would just be inappropriate.' | |
| 'It's fun for a girl or a boy.' | |
| 'I got two cherries. If I get another one, I get my quarter back.' | |
| 'Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I've found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself -' | |
| 'Exactly. 'Cause, you know, strings need - to compactify.' | |
| 'There's conspiracies and stuff. Y'all don't even know!' | |
| 'No, no, that certainly doesn't sound normal for a boy his age. Look, we'll send someone out as soon as we can. Just, um - just don't poke it.' | |
| 'It’s the 800-pound gorilla. It can do whatever the hell it wants.' | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'Excuse me, not that I don’t still bear a grudge against you, because I do...' | |
| 'Wood. Why did it have to be wood?' | |
| 'Oh, for the love of Mike Tyson!' | |
| 'How did you survive this long being so retarded?' | |
| 'There’s a signed dollar bill in your wallet I think proves different.' | |
| 'Gee, I wonder what color you'll be when I'm done?' | |
| 'Come on, everybody loves fetal pigs!' | |
| 'The green, cart-like vehicle eats...I am not a bucket head.' | |
| 'Wait! Did I say Bu-shundi? I meant Ru-shundi. It’s a whole different…Crap.' | |
| 'Are you still evilish? ’Cause I’m confused.' | |
| 'And tonight the role of Judas Iscariot will be played by Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok Clan.' | |
| 'I tear your guts all inside out. I stitch your guts every all over. Why don't you go dead?' | |
| 'So tell me and I'll crush your windpipe.' | |
| 'Team Angel, all growed up.' | |
| 'There's this machine, six feet tall, it makes this noise--Whoompa! Whoompa! Plth!...Not a clue.' | |
| 'But I guess a leopard can't change it's stripes.' | |
| 'So, what, you're like a Frankenstein?' | |
| 'Permanent storage. If there's anything Wolfram & Hart excels at, it's keeping their unmentionables unmentioned.' | |
| 'Welsey, I am totally drunk-face.' | |
| 'Yes, the geriatric community will be soiling their nappies when they hear you're on the case. Bravo.' | |
| 'Well, I'm not really comfortable with hugging.' | |
| 'Look what I made. It's called Willy.' | |
| 'Get fit while you sit!' | |
| 'I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley?' | |
| 'You're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever.' | |
| 'Sweetie, your epidermis is showing.' | |
| 'Well, ahoy matey, you can just swab my deck.' | |
| 'Angel, you're...cute! ... Oh! But the little hands!' | |
| 'I'm talkin' about bones that go crunch.' | |
| 'I would stare at you for hours, locked in my room. My mom thought I was looking at porn.' | |
| 'And one world with nothing but shrimp. I tired of that one quickly.' | |
| 'Open Sesame. Or whatever.' | |
| 'Oh, god! Don't go in there! That's where he keeps his full-strength crazy.' | |
| 'How do you say 'wank off' in Italian?' | |
| 'You boys look like you could use a hug.' | |
| 'Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon.' | |
|
