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Boy George has opened a zoo. There’s only 6 animals there…
Whiteboards are ...
I nearly fed my wife and myself weed killer. Fortunately …
The thing I excel at is slightly mispronouncing the next number after 39.
My reasons for learning origami are …
I’ve just resigned from the Magic Circle...
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory.
There's a special place reserved in Hull for …
Never leave sulfuric acid in a metal beaker.
I had a first date on a skating rink so I took my sledge hammer.
Usually footballers can’t do good impressions of birds with huge beaks …
The man who invented predictive text died yesterday.
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp ..
I did an experiment on the effects of alcohol.
The owner of our local ice rink was crying and pulling his hair out.
The man who invented the needle-threading machine is in a coma.
I think my partner's been stealing from the roadmenders.
A thug said he'd attack me with the neck of a guitar. I said …
My friend said he threw a ball 5 miles and his dog managed to find it and bring it back.
I asked the bookseller for a book about turtles. She said ‘Hardback?’ and I said …
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