I woke up this morning, changed a light bulb, crossed the road, went into a bar and I realized …
What's green and smells like yellow paint?
My friend Sid was a victim of I.D. theft.
How do you identify a bald eagle?
My boyfriend wanted me to be more like his ex.
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
What do you call a man with no shins?
That girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club …
Our local baker stopped making doughnuts.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got fired.
I didn't have any luck with water polo.
I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
A job interviewer asked, me 'Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?' I said ...
Why don't people eat clocks?
Steak puns…
Where are average things built?
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
I fear my colleague may be stalking me, he was googling my name last night on his computer.
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