Movies Quiz / Who am I? (Guess the actors)

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Can you name the actors based on the description of the characters they have played?

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I've been a racist, an insomniac, a childrens entertainer and magician
I've been a lawyer, a cable installer, a news reporter and a homosexual con man
I've been a caveman, an archaeologist, a cartoonist and a wannabe rock star
I've been a drug dealer, a pirate, a factory owner and a barber
I've been a porn star, a boxer, a thief and an incompotent police officer
I've been an amusement park worker, a zombie killer, a website creator and a bird
I've been a cat, a weather man, an oceanographer and a bowler
Ive been a wisecracking cop, a wisecracking cop, a wisecracking cop and been shot in the boot of a car
I've been a ping pong champion, a cowboy, a death row guard and an army Captain
I've been a soccer hooligan, a hobbit, a cannibal and a dolphin lover
I've been a US Marshall, an assassin, John Malkovich and gone back in time
I've been a weather man, a secret agent, a squirrel and a virgin
I've been a King, an escape artist, a hotel manager and suffered amnesia
I've been a model, a car, a driller and been eaten by a snake
I've been a crooked cop, a football coach, an angel and a boxer
I've played football, sang at weddings, adopted a boy and had anger issues
I've been a super hero, a fish, a single dad and the last man of earth
I've been up against The Terminator, Predator, Alien and a tornado
As one character, I've killed The Metatron, The Grim Reaper, an evil talking Lion and the Ghostface Killer
I've been a geologist, a tobacco spokesman, a chef and had two faces

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