Television / Peter Griffin or Patrick Star

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Can you name the source to these words of wisdom: Peter Griffin (G) or Patrick Star (S)?

Updated Jul 12, 2012

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QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
You know, it’s not as easy as it looks. Sometimes I gotta move the antenna, sometimes I lose the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad.
I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life sir!
Things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
Everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
Pretty good, (friend), but it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
I had no idea they had a hot tub!
I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz, uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
What street said that? Was it this one? Mind your own business!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (Friend), this isn't my Batman glass.
All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split. And then one of you die.
Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
Since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'.
Do you accept bits of string?
QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Hmm...I've got it! Let's get naked!
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
If I was a mom, this would be kind of shocking. Just call me Daddy!
It would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy.
Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.
I've been selling buttscratchers. Buttscratcher?!
I can't see my forehead.
You'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
C'mon, you know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, me, wumbo. Wumbo, wumboing, Wilhem B. Wumbo, Wumbowama Wumbology. The study of wumbo, it's first grade (friend).
The inner mechanations of my mind are an enigma.
I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON!

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