Miscellaneous Quiz / Funny Jokes and Quotes XI

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Can you complete the Funny Jokes and Quotes?

by Tootsnsuch

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Four fonts walk into a bar; the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your ___ in here''

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the __.

Women are like roads. The more ___ they have, the more dangerous they are.

My favorite exercise is a cross between lunge and crunch. It's called: ___.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we __.

My mother-in-law fell down a ___. I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my __.''

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll ___ about that.

I went to a seafood disco the other night and pulled a ____.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband types, 'Mything,' and the wife laughs because the screen says ''Error. Not ___ enough'.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in sexy lingerie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'And you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went ___.

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my __?''.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are __.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one __.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural ___.

Money talks...but all mine ever says is ___.

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