Miscellaneous Quiz / Funny Jokes and Quotes XII

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Can you complete the Funny Jokes and Quotes?

by Tootsnsuch

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? -- A __

3 elderly men are taking a walk outside their nursing home. The 1st one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' The 2nd one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' The 3rd one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a _

I get plenty of ___: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? -- He had no ___ to go with him!

For anyone who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the __ are kept.

What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many ___.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I dunno, it happened so __.

Why are horses always so fit? Because they're on a ___ diet.

I tried to be normal once. ___ two minutes of my life. — Ziad K. Abdelnour

I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly ___ myself.

What do you do if a idiot throws a grenade at you? -- Pull the __ and throw it back at him!

What's the difference between a 16'' pizza and a musician? -- A 16' pizza can __ a family of four.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't __ it.

A tiger does not lose sleep over the opinion of ___.

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