Television Quiz / NewsRadio: Quotes

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Can you name the character who said the quote?

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QuoteCharacter
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then toss it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place.
It's called responsibility, David. Wake up and sniff it.
Bill thinks having a bird crap on him is a compliment from the gods!
I am a cipher, a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.
I'm rewiring the phones for speed-dial, so like, if you have to call 911 you don't have to push a whole lot of buttons.
Nothing, I just wanted people to notice my new boots.
Yes, they're all decent persons, Dave, but once a man throws his hat into the ring, it is my duty as a journalist to make him my bitch.
Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say 'I never liked you. Get lost.'
No, I am not paranoid, because I can say without a trace of irony...you're all out to get me.
And free advertising, well that's something you just can't buy.
QuoteCharacter
You're from Wisconsin. Artificial light is fascinating to you!
Tragedy struck today in Sector 9 as rebel terrorists blew up the Death Star killing thousands. The Rebel Alliance, a fringe group of Anti-Empire fanatics, has claimed responsibilit
Spare me. If I believed in fairy tales I wouldn't have dropped out of kindergarten.
Dave, we’re not circumventing it, we’re just trying to get around it.
Sexual harassment is no joke, sweet-cans.
I'm out of here. This has been the worst cracker time in recorded history.
Last time I signed something without reading it, I had to do Bill’s dry cleaning for a year.
I complained about the complaint box. Delicious.
I'm ballooning my ass off!
Rocket Fuel Malt Liqour! DAMN!

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