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Monica: There's nothing to tell, it's just some guy I work with.
Lucille: Look what they've done, Michael.
Marge: Oh, careful, Homer!
Jan (on TV): Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg’s jacket.
Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy.
Ted: Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story.
Sheldon: So if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it, and either slit is observed, it will not go through both slits.
J. D.: Since I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything.
Radio host: Alright, we're still taking calls on those UFO sightings. I'm on the phone with Jennifer who claims to actually have met aliens.
Kid: How about a beer, Chief?
Leslie: Hello. Hi, my name is Leslie Knope and I work for the [Title] department. Can I ask you a few questions?
Claire: Kids! Breakfast!
Alex: I can't believe you guys could watch this, you look ridiculous.
Janet: Please. Have a little respect for the dying.
Larry: Cheryl, come here for a second.
Dorothy: I taught a class today. The finest school in Dade County. Two girls had shaved heads, and three boys had green hair.
Kelly: Let go of my hair, you little psychopath.
Clair: Come on, it's getting late. You should stop dancing around with that food and start eating it.
Will: Back to life, back to reality...
Michael: Alright, Jim. Your quarterlies look very good.
Phyllis: Well, Mary, what do you think?
Oscar: Felix!