Television Quiz / WEEDS: Who said it?

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Can you guess who said the quotes from all 8 seasons of Weeds?

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Yeah, sure, why not?
I had to smother a guy with a pillow once, too. My arms got tired. You?
You want some avocado? Got that good fat.
Who you think done it? The f**k-you-up fairy?
Look at you, huh? 24? Oh, so jealous. Can I drink your blood? Just, like, a shot. Please?
No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck you d**k gross!
OK, Look, the truth of the matter is you're cursed with schmuckness.
All women are evil lying b*****s, but I'm trying to be the good big brother here, so when she kicks the **** outta your heart, I'll buy you a beer with my fake I.D.
I wanna lick the space where your toes used to be
Yes. My family needs this menorah.
No I did not piss on your plant. I watered it...with my urine.
I am a highly intelligent underachiever.
I-I'm sorry. You might want to go away. Because I don't like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don't like in fires.
You know what else is big? My Johnson, and you could suck it!
F**ka talk-- you in Humboldt now, where property law say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interlopin' nightmare b*****s from the past.
I mixed benadryl and tetrocol one time. I spent three days guessing weight at the Iowa state fair, I got crabs and a tattoo...of a crab.
Thug means never having to say you're sorry.
I'm the suburban baroness of bud.
You can not become a lesbian just because you don't want to lose weight. The only girl that you should be seeing is Jenny Craig.
Fine. It'll add to the value of the house. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a little boy. I can sell it to a priest.
Well, he bludgeoned a woman to death with a mallet. He should be chastised.
You signed for the Reserves on your own free, drunk, horny accord. Your f****d.
Listen you c**k juggling thunder-c**t!
Let's go. Later you can go through her underwear while I go through her jewelry.
I get it. If I get shot in my jerk-off arm, I would be mad too.
My mom says you dress like a prostitute.
This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
Where are your owners? ...Sorry, the owner of the store??
It's like Amsterdam, only you don't have to visit Anne Frank's house and pretend to be all sad and everything.
You look gay holding my purse.
He taught me how to drive-by.
Be the baby!
Fare is what you pay to ride the bus, see thats the only fare I know.
I love my **** son.
Hey, how's your narco girlfriend? Or did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be??
If I let you stick your finger up my a**,can I get a Porsche??
Are you totally freaked that the fruit of your loins is a killer fruit?
Try it, and the toaster goes in with you!!
Kiss my culo. I'm looking for drogas. Weed. Not Mexidick.
Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?
You eat my food, you wipe your ass with my toilet paper. i don't have to ask you s**t.
White folk get soda-pop. N****s get bullets.
I-I got the dumb genes!
A Mexican gynco? Nanc, if you're putting together a mariachi band, yes, go Mexican. Down there, you want a Jew.
I'm sorry I killed your cockatoo it was an innocent casualty of youthful vengeance, it taught me a valuable lesson about the destructive power of firearms - so he's death was not i
Yeah, sure, death is no big deal. Because life is just blah blah blah.
I don't give a flying f**k if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid..
Andy, I smuggled her here. I think that merits some c**k-amole on her face-adilla.
I'm a bitch-ass bitch.
You stuck your penis in her. That's not love... believe me.
Well, we did it but, if you want my professional opinion, that boy gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
I ain't slapping no white woman.
My cellmate, Chita, says she's going to make me her special girl.
Can I have a sniff of your pad? I love smelling Sharpies
We're both gonna die. Actually, you're gonna die, I'm gonna hide under your corpse and pretend that I'm dead until everyone's gone away.
I was wondering what to get my wife, so I got her a neighbourhood.
We're gonna be a family if I have to kill all of you!
Babe, these are cops. I'm a drug dealer. You're a murderer. We can't all play on the same kickball team.
I'm sure he's fine! God protects the stupids!
You're really good at burning s**t down. In prison, were you and her like, 'Hey. I'm an arsonist. You're an arsonist. Let's get together and be lesbians'?
Woman, you are light. You are lighter than Michael Jackson, you so light.
Tiny air holes! That's the spirit! You're a murderer, but you got moxie, kid. Now, where can we get a cooler??
You got enough THC in those (popcorn) balls to keep Steve wonderin'.
Are you gonna frisk the sink, arrest the toilet?
I have cancer and jungle fever and tonight one of them is going to get cured.
Cut off one of his balls
You always hum 'Hava nagila' when you jerk off?
Nothing. Except maybe this cool cigar box. I can save it for my ashes.
No, but we can't afford childcare, so we have to take this small leap of faith. I'm encouraged, because so far, the baby's never tried to have us all killed.
Are his lips usually that salty? I have no frame of reference, but they tasted closer to dead fish than they probably should have.
That, or I'd squeeze your balls till you gave me your car keys.
Dead hoes tell no tales.
I got through menopause with cigarettes and vodka.
You are so beautiful. You are like a mermaid, a Mexican mermaid... a mer-mex
What makes her so special? Who among us does not need to get laid? You don't see us getting all grumpy. We rule. She sucks! But let's... let's go, let's go do her angry bidding so
He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it.
There's no business like grow business. There's no business I know.
That's me. It's amazing what a .22-caliber slug will do.
You're a slutty, irresponsible, slutty ****.
That Mr. Kaplan, he don't wipe so good, always leaving s**t slicks everywhere.

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Created Feb 13, 2015ReportFavoriteNominate

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