Television Quiz / WEEDS: Who said it?

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Can you guess who said the quotes from all 8 seasons of Weeds?

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You can not become a lesbian just because you don't want to lose weight. The only girl that you should be seeing is Jenny Craig.
We're both gonna die. Actually, you're gonna die, I'm gonna hide under your corpse and pretend that I'm dead until everyone's gone away.
Dead hoes tell no tales.
That, or I'd squeeze your balls till you gave me your car keys.
I love my **** son.
That's me. It's amazing what a .22-caliber slug will do.
He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it.
This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
I'm the suburban baroness of bud.
You stuck your penis in her. That's not love... believe me.
Listen you c**k juggling thunder-c**t!
OK, Look, the truth of the matter is you're cursed with schmuckness.
Well, he bludgeoned a woman to death with a mallet. He should be chastised.
Hey, how's your narco girlfriend? Or did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be??
Be the baby!
Yeah, sure, death is no big deal. Because life is just blah blah blah.
Well, we did it but, if you want my professional opinion, that boy gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
He taught me how to drive-by.
I had to smother a guy with a pillow once, too. My arms got tired. You?
I get it. If I get shot in my jerk-off arm, I would be mad too.
Yes. My family needs this menorah.
You're a slutty, irresponsible, slutty ****.
What makes her so special? Who among us does not need to get laid? You don't see us getting all grumpy. We rule. She sucks! But let's... let's go, let's go do her angry bidding so
F**ka talk-- you in Humboldt now, where property law say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interlopin' nightmare b*****s from the past.
It's like Amsterdam, only you don't have to visit Anne Frank's house and pretend to be all sad and everything.
I wanna lick the space where your toes used to be
Woman, you are light. You are lighter than Michael Jackson, you so light.
Cut off one of his balls
My mom says you dress like a prostitute.
Look at you, huh? 24? Oh, so jealous. Can I drink your blood? Just, like, a shot. Please?
Are his lips usually that salty? I have no frame of reference, but they tasted closer to dead fish than they probably should have.
I ain't slapping no white woman.
You got enough THC in those (popcorn) balls to keep Steve wonderin'.
Tiny air holes! That's the spirit! You're a murderer, but you got moxie, kid. Now, where can we get a cooler??
If I let you stick your finger up my a**,can I get a Porsche??
You look gay holding my purse.
I-I got the dumb genes!
You are so beautiful. You are like a mermaid, a Mexican mermaid... a mer-mex
You want some avocado? Got that good fat.
Try it, and the toaster goes in with you!!
Nothing. Except maybe this cool cigar box. I can save it for my ashes.
I mixed benadryl and tetrocol one time. I spent three days guessing weight at the Iowa state fair, I got crabs and a tattoo...of a crab.
I got through menopause with cigarettes and vodka.
Babe, these are cops. I'm a drug dealer. You're a murderer. We can't all play on the same kickball team.
I'm sure he's fine! God protects the stupids!
Who you think done it? The f**k-you-up fairy?
There's no business like grow business. There's no business I know.
Are you gonna frisk the sink, arrest the toilet?
Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?
You always hum 'Hava nagila' when you jerk off?
You're really good at burning s**t down. In prison, were you and her like, 'Hey. I'm an arsonist. You're an arsonist. Let's get together and be lesbians'?
I have cancer and jungle fever and tonight one of them is going to get cured.
I was wondering what to get my wife, so I got her a neighbourhood.
We're gonna be a family if I have to kill all of you!
Let's go. Later you can go through her underwear while I go through her jewelry.
All women are evil lying b*****s, but I'm trying to be the good big brother here, so when she kicks the **** outta your heart, I'll buy you a beer with my fake I.D.
Where are your owners? ...Sorry, the owner of the store??
I'm sorry I killed your cockatoo it was an innocent casualty of youthful vengeance, it taught me a valuable lesson about the destructive power of firearms - so he's death was not i
Fine. It'll add to the value of the house. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a little boy. I can sell it to a priest.
No I did not piss on your plant. I watered it...with my urine.
I don't give a flying f**k if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid..
You know what else is big? My Johnson, and you could suck it!
A Mexican gynco? Nanc, if you're putting together a mariachi band, yes, go Mexican. Down there, you want a Jew.
My cellmate, Chita, says she's going to make me her special girl.
I'm a bitch-ass bitch.
Yeah, sure, why not?
That Mr. Kaplan, he don't wipe so good, always leaving s**t slicks everywhere.
You eat my food, you wipe your ass with my toilet paper. i don't have to ask you s**t.
Andy, I smuggled her here. I think that merits some c**k-amole on her face-adilla.
Thug means never having to say you're sorry.
No, but we can't afford childcare, so we have to take this small leap of faith. I'm encouraged, because so far, the baby's never tried to have us all killed.
Are you totally freaked that the fruit of your loins is a killer fruit?
I am a highly intelligent underachiever.
I-I'm sorry. You might want to go away. Because I don't like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don't like in fires.
Kiss my culo. I'm looking for drogas. Weed. Not Mexidick.
White folk get soda-pop. N****s get bullets.
No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck you d**k gross!
Fare is what you pay to ride the bus, see thats the only fare I know.
You signed for the Reserves on your own free, drunk, horny accord. Your f****d.
Can I have a sniff of your pad? I love smelling Sharpies

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