Television Quiz / WEEDS: Who said it?

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Can you guess who said the quotes from all 8 seasons of Weeds?

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HintAnswer
I'm sure he's fine! God protects the stupids!
I mixed benadryl and tetrocol one time. I spent three days guessing weight at the Iowa state fair, I got crabs and a tattoo...of a crab.
You got enough THC in those (popcorn) balls to keep Steve wonderin'.
Listen you c**k juggling thunder-c**t!
Are you gonna frisk the sink, arrest the toilet?
You want some avocado? Got that good fat.
 
That's me. It's amazing what a .22-caliber slug will do.
Be the baby!
We're gonna be a family if I have to kill all of you!
I'm the suburban baroness of bud.
No, but we can't afford childcare, so we have to take this small leap of faith. I'm encouraged, because so far, the baby's never tried to have us all killed.
Hey, how's your narco girlfriend? Or did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be??
Are you totally freaked that the fruit of your loins is a killer fruit?
Yeah, sure, death is no big deal. Because life is just blah blah blah.
You eat my food, you wipe your ass with my toilet paper. i don't have to ask you s**t.
I wanna lick the space where your toes used to be
Thug means never having to say you're sorry.
You signed for the Reserves on your own free, drunk, horny accord. Your f****d.
Fare is what you pay to ride the bus, see thats the only fare I know.
No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck you d**k gross!
All women are evil lying b*****s, but I'm trying to be the good big brother here, so when she kicks the **** outta your heart, I'll buy you a beer with my fake I.D.
We're both gonna die. Actually, you're gonna die, I'm gonna hide under your corpse and pretend that I'm dead until everyone's gone away.
Let's go. Later you can go through her underwear while I go through her jewelry.
I don't give a flying f**k if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid..
You're really good at burning s**t down. In prison, were you and her like, 'Hey. I'm an arsonist. You're an arsonist. Let's get together and be lesbians'?
You can not become a lesbian just because you don't want to lose weight. The only girl that you should be seeing is Jenny Craig.
That, or I'd squeeze your balls till you gave me your car keys.
HintAnswer
 
It's like Amsterdam, only you don't have to visit Anne Frank's house and pretend to be all sad and everything.
I get it. If I get shot in my jerk-off arm, I would be mad too.
I am a highly intelligent underachiever.
Look at you, huh? 24? Oh, so jealous. Can I drink your blood? Just, like, a shot. Please?
I love my **** son.
Where are your owners? ...Sorry, the owner of the store??
You are so beautiful. You are like a mermaid, a Mexican mermaid... a mer-mex
Tiny air holes! That's the spirit! You're a murderer, but you got moxie, kid. Now, where can we get a cooler??
I-I got the dumb genes!
Dead hoes tell no tales.
If I let you stick your finger up my a**,can I get a Porsche??
He taught me how to drive-by.
I was wondering what to get my wife, so I got her a neighbourhood.
Well, we did it but, if you want my professional opinion, that boy gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
My mom says you dress like a prostitute.
I'm sorry I killed your cockatoo it was an innocent casualty of youthful vengeance, it taught me a valuable lesson about the destructive power of firearms - so he's death was not i
You look gay holding my purse.
Yeah, sure, why not?
Can I have a sniff of your pad? I love smelling Sharpies
That Mr. Kaplan, he don't wipe so good, always leaving s**t slicks everywhere.
You know what else is big? My Johnson, and you could suck it!
Fine. It'll add to the value of the house. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a little boy. I can sell it to a priest.
There's no business like grow business. There's no business I know.
Babe, these are cops. I'm a drug dealer. You're a murderer. We can't all play on the same kickball team.
I ain't slapping no white woman.
I had to smother a guy with a pillow once, too. My arms got tired. You?
This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
HintAnswer
Who you think done it? The f**k-you-up fairy?
Andy, I smuggled her here. I think that merits some c**k-amole on her face-adilla.
You always hum 'Hava nagila' when you jerk off?
What makes her so special? Who among us does not need to get laid? You don't see us getting all grumpy. We rule. She sucks! But let's... let's go, let's go do her angry bidding so
No I did not piss on your plant. I watered it...with my urine.
I got through menopause with cigarettes and vodka.
My cellmate, Chita, says she's going to make me her special girl.
OK, Look, the truth of the matter is you're cursed with schmuckness.
Woman, you are light. You are lighter than Michael Jackson, you so light.
Yes. My family needs this menorah.
Nothing. Except maybe this cool cigar box. I can save it for my ashes.
I'm a bitch-ass bitch.
Kiss my culo. I'm looking for drogas. Weed. Not Mexidick.
I have cancer and jungle fever and tonight one of them is going to get cured.
Try it, and the toaster goes in with you!!
F**ka talk-- you in Humboldt now, where property law say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interlopin' nightmare b*****s from the past.
White folk get soda-pop. N****s get bullets.
I-I'm sorry. You might want to go away. Because I don't like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don't like in fires.
He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it.
Well, he bludgeoned a woman to death with a mallet. He should be chastised.
You stuck your penis in her. That's not love... believe me.
A Mexican gynco? Nanc, if you're putting together a mariachi band, yes, go Mexican. Down there, you want a Jew.
Are his lips usually that salty? I have no frame of reference, but they tasted closer to dead fish than they probably should have.
Cut off one of his balls
You're a slutty, irresponsible, slutty ****.
Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?

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