Television Quiz / WEEDS: Who said it?

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QUIZ: Can you guess who said the quotes from all 8 seasons of Weeds?

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I was wondering what to get my wife, so I got her a neighbourhood.
You're really good at burning s**t down. In prison, were you and her like, 'Hey. I'm an arsonist. You're an arsonist. Let's get together and be lesbians'?
No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck you d**k gross!
I am a highly intelligent underachiever.
I ain't slapping no white woman.
You're a slutty, irresponsible, slutty ****.
Yeah, sure, why not?
Thug means never having to say you're sorry.
Yes. My family needs this menorah.
You are so beautiful. You are like a mermaid, a Mexican mermaid... a mer-mex
Listen you c**k juggling thunder-c**t!
You got enough THC in those (popcorn) balls to keep Steve wonderin'.
No, but we can't afford childcare, so we have to take this small leap of faith. I'm encouraged, because so far, the baby's never tried to have us all killed.
This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
F**ka talk-- you in Humboldt now, where property law say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interlopin' nightmare b*****s from the past.
You can not become a lesbian just because you don't want to lose weight. The only girl that you should be seeing is Jenny Craig.
White folk get soda-pop. N****s get bullets.
I got through menopause with cigarettes and vodka.
You always hum 'Hava nagila' when you jerk off?
Because you'd eat them and children are super fattening?
Hey, how's your narco girlfriend? Or did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be??
You know what else is big? My Johnson, and you could suck it!
I'm a bitch-ass bitch.
Are you gonna frisk the sink, arrest the toilet?
That Mr. Kaplan, he don't wipe so good, always leaving s**t slicks everywhere.
Woman, you are light. You are lighter than Michael Jackson, you so light.
You stuck your penis in her. That's not love... believe me.
You signed for the Reserves on your own free, drunk, horny accord. Your f****d.
Fare is what you pay to ride the bus, see thats the only fare I know.
Tiny air holes! That's the spirit! You're a murderer, but you got moxie, kid. Now, where can we get a cooler??
You want some avocado? Got that good fat.
Kiss my culo. I'm looking for drogas. Weed. Not Mexidick.
We're gonna be a family if I have to kill all of you!
All women are evil lying b*****s, but I'm trying to be the good big brother here, so when she kicks the **** outta your heart, I'll buy you a beer with my fake I.D.
Try it, and the toaster goes in with you!!
Cut off one of his balls
I'm the suburban baroness of bud.
Fine. It'll add to the value of the house. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a little boy. I can sell it to a priest.
My cellmate, Chita, says she's going to make me her special girl.
There's no business like grow business. There's no business I know.
Nothing. Except maybe this cool cigar box. I can save it for my ashes.
I-I got the dumb genes!
I mixed benadryl and tetrocol one time. I spent three days guessing weight at the Iowa state fair, I got crabs and a tattoo...of a crab.
What makes her so special? Who among us does not need to get laid? You don't see us getting all grumpy. We rule. She sucks! But let's... let's go, let's go do her angry bidding so
OK, Look, the truth of the matter is you're cursed with schmuckness.
He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it.
Let's go. Later you can go through her underwear while I go through her jewelry.
You look gay holding my purse.
If I let you stick your finger up my a**,can I get a Porsche??
No I did not piss on your plant. I watered it...with my urine.
Look at you, huh? 24? Oh, so jealous. Can I drink your blood? Just, like, a shot. Please?
I'm sorry I killed your cockatoo it was an innocent casualty of youthful vengeance, it taught me a valuable lesson about the destructive power of firearms - so he's death was not i
Can I have a sniff of your pad? I love smelling Sharpies
Andy, I smuggled her here. I think that merits some c**k-amole on her face-adilla.
Dead hoes tell no tales.
Are you totally freaked that the fruit of your loins is a killer fruit?
That's me. It's amazing what a .22-caliber slug will do.
I have cancer and jungle fever and tonight one of them is going to get cured.
Be the baby!
I'm sure he's fine! God protects the stupids!
Where are your owners? ...Sorry, the owner of the store??
Well, we did it but, if you want my professional opinion, that boy gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
I love my **** son.
Well, he bludgeoned a woman to death with a mallet. He should be chastised.
Yeah, sure, death is no big deal. Because life is just blah blah blah.
You eat my food, you wipe your ass with my toilet paper. i don't have to ask you s**t.
I wanna lick the space where your toes used to be
Are his lips usually that salty? I have no frame of reference, but they tasted closer to dead fish than they probably should have.
I get it. If I get shot in my jerk-off arm, I would be mad too.
He taught me how to drive-by.
A Mexican gynco? Nanc, if you're putting together a mariachi band, yes, go Mexican. Down there, you want a Jew.
That, or I'd squeeze your balls till you gave me your car keys.
Babe, these are cops. I'm a drug dealer. You're a murderer. We can't all play on the same kickball team.
I had to smother a guy with a pillow once, too. My arms got tired. You?
It's like Amsterdam, only you don't have to visit Anne Frank's house and pretend to be all sad and everything.
Who you think done it? The f**k-you-up fairy?
My mom says you dress like a prostitute.
We're both gonna die. Actually, you're gonna die, I'm gonna hide under your corpse and pretend that I'm dead until everyone's gone away.
I don't give a flying f**k if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid..
I-I'm sorry. You might want to go away. Because I don't like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don't like in fires.

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