Just For Fun Quiz / Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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Can you name the correct words to complete each Deep Thought by Jack Handey?

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Deep ThoughtMissing Words
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about ___________ _________ ________? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
...I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said, '____________ __________ _______!'
The face of a child can say it all, especially the _______ _______ ___ ____ _______.
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid _________ _________ ___ ____ __________, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the ________ ____ ______ ________.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some _____________ with some good ideas.
Probably the earliest ___ __________ were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because _ ___ _________ _______ ______ ____ ________
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words _____ ____ ____...
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid ___ ________.
If you ever reach ______ _____________ while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown _______ ___ ____.
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of ________ ___ ________?
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just ____ _________.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was ________ __ _________.
One thing _______ _______ have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stake.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say. '_____ _________, _____.'
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because _____ __ _____ _______.
As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him ______.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but a ________ _____!!
Deep ThoughtMissing Words
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have _____ ______.
Better not take a dog on the ______ ________, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us _____ ___ ______________.
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of _______.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us __________ that world, because they'd never expect it.
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of __________ to the old board of his...
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, '__ _______ _____ _____.'
I'd rather be rich than _________.
I think a good product would be '_____ _____ ____.' It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head...
I wish a ______ would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
I wish I had a __________ ______, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be _________ ____ _________ ___ __________.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, ____ _______.
If you saw two guys named __________ and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's __________.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to ______ __ _____ ____.
The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought ____.
When I was a kid my favorite relative was _______ __________. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us...
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or ____ ________, choose ____ ________. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever ______ _________.

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Created May 29, 2010ReportFavoriteNominate
Tags:complete, deep, jack, thought

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