….And in Tokyo it's tomorrow. Actually tomorrow! Do you realize there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?
[About to eat a piece of candy] I don't know why I'm putting this in my mouth. I should just apply it directly to my hips.
I don't want anybody to make any fuss. When I go, I just want to be stood outside in the garbage with my hat on.
Oh, Mary, you're just so Mary, Mary.
Ted has been in love ever since he was a baby and saw his reflection in the bathwater.
Folks, I've just received a special news bulletin: 'You have something on your front tooth.'
Maybe I should call my date, see what his wife is wearing.
[Talking about Phyllis] She's dangerous. She's actually got Baxter convinced he's capable of human thought.
Albania...that's the capital of New York, right?
He's already one up on Ted. He's walking and talking at the same time.
Mr. Grant has got to snap out of it! He's so...quiet. He hasn't yelled at anyone in days...he stopped drinking...this is terrible!
If I don't like you, I'll fire you! If you don't like me, I'll fire you!
[Giving a gift] It's a Prayer Plant. But don't worry, it's non-denominational.
Did you know the male bee is nothing but the slave of the queen? And once the male bee - how should I say? Umm has serviced the queen, the male dies. All in all not a bad system.
[Looking through clothes] Seven...seven...seven. The last time I wore a seven was on the back of a softball uniform.
[Talking to an ex boyfriend] How come you only wrote me four times in the last two years? I mean, Readers Digest wrote me more than that.
I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.
Goodbye Mary. Don't worry about your plants. I'll come by and water them and talk to them every day. But I won't tell them where you are. I'll make something up.
You don't know what loneliness is until you've slept with Lars.
You know, Mary, going to dinner with a paleontologist can be very embarrassing. The last restaurant we were at, he started reconstructing the bones of his duck.
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