British placename riddles

Can you name the british placename riddles?

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Give me this right now
Place where people drive around in Cortinas
Where you go if you fancy a soak
This place is NOT in Alabama, although it does have the same spelling
Place where you would find dirty water
Don't forget this when putting in a screw
People there are very intelligent
Women there have got big t*ts
What you do to the deceased
Where you would find plenty of buns, girls and pensioners
Place where captains of a ship live
People there like their cakes (begins with D)
Also a place where people like their cakes (begins with E)
Place where men like to thump their old girlfriends
A good place to take your dog for a walk
People there like their biscuits
Place where they make little rocks
Halfway point of a woman's undergarment
Place where you are likely to get killed
Where mums never feel ill
Do you want to take some coal there
You won't find any pigsmeat here
Place where animals like to run across water
Where pirates are from
It is full of bookworms
Place where you will find people shovelling coal into a fire
Place where you will find birds swimming through water
Don't take your car here, because you won't get it back in one piece

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