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/ Follow That Line: Michael Scott - Part 1
Can you pick the quotes uttered by Michael Scott that follow these lines ?
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Initial quotes are said by Michael unless otherwise noted. Quotes are from Seasons 1 and 2.
Follow That Line: Michael Scott - Part 2
- People I respect, heroes of mine, would be Bob Hope, Abraham Lincoln, definitely. Bono. And probably God would be the fourth one.
- No, this is not a joke, okay? It’s offensive. And lame. So double-offensive. This, is an environment of welcoming.
- Abraham Lincoln once said, that if you’re a racist...
- Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right? That’s what this is all about.
- … Robin Williams, oh man, would I love to go head-to-head with him! Oh, that would be exciting.
- I live by one rule. No office romances. No way, very messy, inappropriate, no.
- Was this year’s Dundies a success? Well, let me see.
- Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for Corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family.
(Jim) - Wow, that is really hard.
- Do you really think you can go all day long?
- Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. So …
- Times have changed a little. And even though we’re still a family here at Dunder Mifflin, families grow. And at some point, the daddy can’t take a bath with the kids anymore.
(Michael) - Um, Pam, I have to let somebody go, today. This is, uh, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
(Pam) - Why did you put it off until Halloween?
- But, there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better, which is what I just did for Dwight. Would I rather be feared or loved?
(Michael) - Here’s the thing, Chili’s is the new golf course. It’s where business happens. Small Businessman Magazine.
(Jan) - It said that?
- First guy says, “Well, I’m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.” And the second guy says, “Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.”
- Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life?
(Kevin) - Why did you get it so big?
(Michael) - And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive.
(Pam) - You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party.
- Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care.
- In an office, when you are ranking people, manager is higher than captain.
- I'm in the brig. See? The boat's not as corporate-friendly as advertised. What was the deal with the guy jumping overboard?
(Dwight) - Don't worry, Michael. I'm taking us to shore.
(Michael) - Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
(Jim) - She's engaged.
(Michael) - BFD. Engaged ain't married.
(Jim) - Huh.
- Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day.
(Michael) - How long does it take for you to do something simple, every day, like brush your teeth in the morning?
(Billy Merchant) - I don't know, like 30 seconds?
(Michael) - They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. Well I say that an empty desk means a...
(Dwight) - Empty mind.
- He hated fun. It was like, 'Oh, Ed Truck is walking toward us. Stop having fun. Start pretending to do work.' What a jerk. He's... You know what?
(Michael) - I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talkin' about.
(Stanley) - That's not what a hate crime is.
- Now you may look around and see two groups here. White collar. Blue collar. But I don't see it that way.
- Dwight gave a great speech. That's the word on the street anyway. And I entertained Dwight to no end with my bar stories.
- I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids.
- I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And... I have a great one.
- You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help!
- Today is my B-day, and people around here just go crazy for it. I don't know why. Oh! Fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria.
- [reading] 'This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder.
- Tonight the Scranton Business Park is having Casino Night and we are converting our warehouse into a full-blown gambling hall.
- Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not... that way.
- There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians, JFK, AIDS, the Holocaust. The Lincoln Assassination just recently became funny.
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