Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Really?
Donkey: Line 'em up, move 'em on, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em on, rawhide! Knock 'em out, pound 'em dead, make 'em tea, buy 'em drinks,
Fairy Godmother: This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment.
Mirror: Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at the Far Far Away royal ball.
Shrek: Who said I want to be part of this family?
Fiona: Uh... you did? When you married me?
Gingy: I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears!
Donkey: I don't wanna die...! I don't wanna DIE! Oh sweet sister mother of mercy... I'm melting...! I'm MEEELTIIING!
Donkey: Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! I'm blind! I'm blind! Tell the truth.
Shrek: Do you still know the Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: Yes, he's down on Drury Lane. Why?
Puss-in-Boots: That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. She is the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom.
Donkey: I say we take the sword and neuter him right here!
Donkey: I mean, how good looking could this Prince Charming guy be anyway?
The Ugly Stepsister: Are you kiddin'? He's gorgeous!
Fairy Godmother: I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
Fiona: Is that glitter on your lips?
Prince Charming: Mmm, cherry flavored.
Donkey: What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say, 'You have the right to remain silent.' Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
Captain of the Guards: Yep, that's catnip...
Puss-in-Boots: Um...
Puss-in-Boots: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club.
Fiona: [lets out a loud belch] Oh! Excuse me.
Shrek: Don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
Shrek: Yeah, right.
Donkey: Don't you worry, I will always be here to make sure no one bothers you.
Shrek: Donkey.
Donkey: Yes, roomie?
Donkey: Y'know, in some cultures, donkeys are considered the wisest of all creatures.
Shrek: Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you.
Donkey: Oh, you got a puppy?
Shrek: Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man! Where do I begin? First there was the time the farmer traded me for some magic beans. I ain't never gotten over that.
Shrek: We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
Receptionist: Oh, of course.
Shrek: Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
Receptionist: A little.
Shrek: Face it, Donkey. We're lost.
Donkey: We can't be lost. We followed the king's instructions to the letter. What did he say? Go to the deepest, darkest part of the forest.
Shrek: Aye.
Donkey: Go past the sinister-looking trees with the scary-looking branches.
Shrek: Uh-huh.
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